realm of the undomestic goddess

Birthday Prayer

2011-05-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.

Bless all the people who remembered me today and have been with me through this wonderful journey.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;

for times of success which will always be happy memories,

for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for you,

for times of joy when the sun was shining,

for times of sadness which drove me to you.

Forgive me

for the hours I wasted,

for the chances I failed to take,

for the opportunities I missed this past year.

Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,

and through it to bring good credit to myself,

happiness and pride to my loved ones,

and joy to you. Amen.

A Morning Prayer by Rhonda Jones

2011-01-22T18:29:00.000-08:00

Lord, when I open my eyes this morning, my first thoughts are upon you and you alone.

Before my mind begins to wander and I become preoccupied with my responsibilituies for the day, I commit my mind and thoughts unto you

On my bed I lay silently as I meditate on your goodness and glory.

I listen with an open heart and receive your divine wisdom and direction.

I cast down every negative thought and fiery dart of the enemy that will lead me in the wrong direction.

I claim your peace that pass all understand. I have the mind of Christ.

Lord, I commit my body unto to you this morning as a living sacrifice, wholly and acceptable, and ready for service

I am ready and willing to give a helping hand, a word of encouragement, and carry out any task unto you.

I am your servant and a reflection of your love.

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I commit my body unto to you today and will honor it by giving it the nourishment and exercise that it needs to stay healthy and whole

By faith, I possess the power of the holy spirit to help me avoid temptation and walk in victory.

Today is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I will give full attention to this day only. I will love with all my heart., Listen will all ears.

And see with great intensity taking notice of every kind gesture, every hurting heart, every laughable moment and the beauty of all you created.

I will perform every task even the smallest and routine endeavors with focus and purpose.

I release the memories of the past and leave the future in God’s hands.

I will live today with the zest, love, joy and and enthusiasm life offers.

I have so much to be thankful for

I release the need to worry be anxious or depressed today.

God is in control of all my circumstances and working all things out for my highest good even if I can’t see it right now

I commit myself unto the Lord I commit any emotional hurt, physical pain and distress.

And by faith claim my wholeness and healing now.

I walk by an unmoveable and unshakable faith.

A faith that moves obstacles out of my way and gives me the strength to endure them.

I am successful in everything I do for whatrver good thing I touch prospers in time.

I never give up or give in to discouragement.

I command every giant to get out of my way.

My steps are ordered by the Lord and I walk in God’s divine plan and purpose for my life.

Right now today at this very moment I am whole in complete in Christ. All my needs are met.

I feel light and carefree and full of love in God’s power.

I open my eyes into to a new day filled with God’s wonder, miracle and adventure.

And I take Jesus wherever I go.

In memoriam: My mother's first anniversary

2011-01-15T19:12:00.000-08:00

Shortly last year, after my mom passed away, my life really spun out of control & eventually went in directions I never thought it would go. Throughout all of the changes my life has undergone since my last entry, one thing has remained constant--that my mother is gone & that I miss her very much.

I am the only person to lose this mother (except for my brother and sister). Even we siblings cannot understand each other’s loss completely, since our relationships with Mommy were unique and had nuances that are extremely personal and, in many ways, intensely private. There are those moments shared just between mother and child, when no one else is a witness, and those become a slide show of memories that are precious yet heartbreaking.

.I can recall many times spent with Mom that made me realize not only how much she loved me, but how that love was magnified by things I said and did. When my eldest daughter, Andrea was born, I saw something in the sparkle of Mom's eyes that was both familiar and different, a sort of maternal pride that coalesced as she held the baby, reminiscent of her own motherhood and yet celebrating my own. It goes beyond saying that this affirmation of our own mother-son bond was multiplied infinitesimally by this new dynamic. Just when I thought my mother could not love me any more, I found that she could through my children.

I feel that there is no time frame for grieving. It' s been a year since I lost my mother and this her passing away still affects me. But I just keep on living and forgetting that our own time is limited too. I still grieve in my own way... I like to think that the moments I especially need my parent is when he is looking down to see how I am.

Chloe turns 14

2011-01-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

A special little lady in my life turns 14 years old today.

I want to tell her lots of things. How proud I am of her. How special she is. How she has blossomed into a beautiful and elegant young woman.

I want to explain to her that it's tough being 14. That other people can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's OK to make mistakes. That we learn from mistakes. That mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her about how hard it's been being a working mom, but because it's been worth every single second, I won't.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how I love her.

And, as a very special birthday present today, I'm going to read "Goodnight Moon" to my baby tonight.

Stumbling Upon A Prayer

2010-09-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

In a tangible example of "life must go on," I tried to drag myself out of bed and remind myself that I had chores to do. Yep, this morning was just another of those usual lazy, boring days. I just couldn't get out of bed and quite automatically, I pointed the remote on the TV to watch my morning favorite, The Ellen DeGeneres show.

But something pulled my eyes to the bookshelf beside the tv. Made of dark-colored wood and missing one leg, the bookshelf had housed my mom's old literature titles, three sets of encyclopedia, and now, it's a hodgepodge collection of contemporary literature, inspirational titles and business books. I found myself scanning every title, and my eyes surprisingly stopped to study one book, as if I haven't seen it before. It had become one of those "shelf-help" books, gathering dust, dirt and mites over quite a couple of years now since I bought it. "Powerful Prayers" by Larry King...the white letters against the black spine were glaring at me. I hesitatingly picked it up (thinking a day without TV wouldn't hurt anyhow) leafed through its already browning pages, and very surprisingly I just couldnt put it down.

In the book, the famed talk-show host Larry King, decides to embark on an odyssey with Rabbi Irwin Katsof. An agnostic himself, Larry King gets a myriad of answers by interviewing celebrities, world leaders and religious people.

It's amazing how different people feel about prayer. Some say it's a conversation with God, or with your inner self. For some, it's a duty, for some it could be a waste of time, and for some it's repetitive words work, for some merely listening provides answers. Interestingly, in one way or another, everybody prays. And inspite of all the differences, through prayer, we acknowledge our powerlessness, our vulnerability.

It's really comforting to know, that as we bow down our heads in prayer, we are joined by Margaret Thatcher, The Dalai Lama, Muhammad Ali, Rene Russo, Goldie Hawn. Big names, but just a few of the billions of hushed voices, thoughts resonating. Yes indeed, however different our language is or our prayers are..we are one.. as we humble ourselves before a higher spirit.

We are living in a world profoundly shaped by the mass media, and new technologies. We become what society dictates us to be. Prayer tells us : who we are inside, all we need to do is listen.

Oh yes indeed, "life will go on". We may trip or stumble along the way. A prayer in our pocket would make a difference.

If I Had My Child to Raise Again

2010-09-17T01:36:00.000-07:00

❤ I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later..

❤ I would finger paint more and point the finger less.

❤ I would do less correcting and more connecting.

❤ I would take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.

❤ I would care to know less and and know to care more.

❤ I would take more hikes and fly more kites.

❤ I would stop playing serious and seriously play.

❤ I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

❤ I would do more hugging and less tugging.

❤ I would be firm less often and affirm more often.

❤ I would build self-esteem first and the house later.

❤ I would teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love.

~ written by Dianne Loomans

I often get caught in life's fast pace, and I tend to forget to give my children words of encouragement or praise, tell them how much I love them, and sometimes it would only just take 15 seconds. :(

Breaking free

2010-09-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

Over time, I have gathered a set of limiting habits around me—ones that trap me in a zone of supposed comfort, well below what my potential would allow me to attain. these habits have slipped below the level of my consciousness, and they determined what I think that I can and cannot do—and what I cannot even bring myself to try. I let this belief rule me, and so I got stuck in a rut.

I had to break free from this bubble. And so the first step to break away from this mediocrity is to leave this comfort zone. I am leaving with a heavy heart as I have gained true friends. On the other hand, I am glad I am leaving the work which brings me little satisfaction. I cannot stand people bashing others just for the sake of being "bida". I cannot stand people who cannot accept responsibility so as to avoid being blamed. I cannot stand hypocrites! I am leaving because I cannot take being mediocre. I will be leaving and face new challenging and exciting journeys. And up to this minute, I still couldn't contain my excitement. I am faced with greater hurdles, bigger problems that I have to solve, yet I believe I am ready to face these head on. I know my strength and power. No one has the right to question if I am ready for it. As long as I believe in myself, no one can put me down.

"There is danger in the comfort zone", I recall a friend telling me. Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, beliefs and habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around our mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside we may think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if we are to develop in any direction from where we are today, we must go outside that reef of habits and beliefs that mark the boundaries of our comfort zone. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits and beliefs as such. These beliefs probably worked for us in the past. But now it’s time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Our fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep us inside.

As nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life, despite all the helpful advice from our parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong. Yes, we may stumble and hurt ourselves at times, but messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if we get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few “tried and true” behaviors, we'll miss out on most opportunities as well.

It’s time to pin down the self-limiting beliefs and habits that have become unconscious and are running our lives for us. Accept the truth about the world and yourself, change whatever is holding you back, and get on with a fresh view on life. Let's get out of our comfort zone and break free. There’s a marvelous world out there.

My Baby is now a Lady

2010-08-12T17:24:00.001-07:00

My daughter’s life is out of my hands. I shivered as it slowly dawned on me how many challenges she’d face in the life I could not control.

Mothering is a mysterious task. First you create an intimate, all-consuming attachment with your daughter, then you spend the rest of your life learning to let go. At first you take care of your daughter’s every need, but gradually this shifts as she grows up. First you carry her in your arms, soon she’s walking on her own. Abruptly during the teen years it seems as if she doesn’t need you at all any more. I am no longer my daughter’s life source as she pushes for more independence. Painful as it is to go through, that’s the way it’s meant to be. It is my sacred duty to give your daughter roots to support her and wings to fly.

One of the first clues my daughter has started individualization—pulling away from her mother in order to find her own identity—is when she insists on commuting, instead of me driving her to where she wanted to go. At sixteen, she now takes the MRT and rides the jeep to school. I am really proud of her. I even boasted about it to my friends. But, up until that moment, however, I’d never considered how her determination to be her own person could impact me. I hadn’t considered how her thrust toward independence would shatter my security.

Up until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I depended on my daughter—not only because she added meaning and purpose to my life—but because she was fun to be with. Mothers often ask, “What happened to my sweet, little girl?” All that has happened to her is that she's now a lady.

Recession or Depression

2010-08-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Hellen Keller

"It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job," Harry Truman observed, "and it's a depression when you lose your own." As downturns in the economy disturb more and more households, we begin to question seriously the financial yardstick by which we have been measuring our personal net worth and therefore something happens.

As a lot of my friends know, the recession has personally affected me. It's hard to believe that there's anybody that it hasn't touched. at least indirectly. It is easy to surrender to an emotional depression when a financial one occurs. It's easy to be pessimistic about tomorrow when today seems so bleak.

But I trying my best to put thoughts of lack behind me. I have yet to discover the secrets of the stars, to sail to an uncharted land, to open up a new heaven where my spirits can soar. But first, I'll have to make changes. And lasting change does not happen overnight. Lasting change happens in infinitesimal increments: a day, an hour, a minute, a heartbeat, at a time. I'm taking a deep breath. I'm learning to become an optimist.

Optimism, like the happiness habit, can be learned. Today, I am expecting that something good will happen no matter what occurred yesterday. The past no longer holds me captive. It can only continue to hurt me if I hold on to it. I'm letting it go. A simply abundant world awaits.

Sniffing Around

2010-08-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

What does my life smell like? If we were to take a whiff of my life, which response would be activated? A gag reflex? The laugh button? A sigh of relief? Or unspeakable joy?
Quite often, what our ears, eyes, and hands miss, our nose could detect. The sense of smell is also quite useful because it evokes memories. With a whiff of something, we can be thrown back into a memory of something that happened, how it happened and whether or not we liked what happened. Likewise, the sense of smell could evoke feelings. If something in our lives doesn't smell right, we will not feel right. If we don't like what you feel, it is high time that we clean up.
We may only have been concerned with the way how our life looks. We may have ignored certain things we heard or saw but we cannot ignore a smell.

Today, I will be devoted to sniffing around my life and be on the lookout for rotting things I need to discard and frangrant things I can put on display.

Christmas Spirit

2009-12-25T11:40:00.000-08:00

If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds? Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary? For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A star to discover. And a being within ourselves to bring life.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

2009-07-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

Getting overwhelmed with my financial worries is getting to be a part of my daily routine. Whenever I look at my purse with nothing but a few bills and credit cards, I ask myself…”What good is this? . Whenever I look at my payslip every end of the pay period, I tell myself "This is not enough to pay my growing mountain of debts and unpaid bills." What I have is too little? And like the disciple James, I tell myself “We have nothing but five loaves and two fishes. (Matt. 14:17)”

Then I admit that I tend to become selfish because I want to protect my own interests. I do not share because of the fear of losing them all. I have nothing but five loaves and two fishes.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus’ miracle begins with letting me realize that nothing is too small for God. His response to the disciples statement is…”Bring them to me.” Then nothing becomes something big when it gets blessed and shared to many.

What do I have? Compared to others, I have little skills. I have little talent. I have little resources. It is only when I believe how blessed I am do they become magnified. When I offer everything to the Lord, everything becomes grand. And I do believe, when I start breaking the bread, blessings will come pouring in.

Lord Jesus, thank you for teaching me that nothing is too small for you. I offer you whatever I have and give thanks for all the blessings you have given me. For indeed, nothing is too small for You.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

sung by Corinne May

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look

Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight

The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn’t sure what good it’d do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a childhe said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I’m feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I’ll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it allI hope it’s not too small
I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

My Monthsary

2009-06-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:6

This month, my life has been a whirlwind of changes. All of a sudden I'm expected to relearn the skills I've long forgotten, meet impossible deadlines, and do it with grace and wisdom. Moreover, I literally felt like a fish out of water fitting in the new office culture. I needed strength, courage and wisdom. And God never hesitated in giving it to me. My daily visit to the Edsa Shrine has been my source.

There is something strange in this morning's mass. From the moment I entered the church, I know there is something different. There is something different about the celebrators and the church. I myself also felt something different and I really couldn't find the words to explain. Seems there is some kind of surprise party. At the end of the mass the priest thanked everyone for being there with him to celebrate the anniversary of "whatever" (I didn't get the words as I had a bit of difficulty in understanding his English, but nevertheless he is a great priest).

As usual, I passed by the adoration chapel. I asked the Holy Spirit to calm my mind and my heart and help me listen to what God has to say. After a few minutes, deep in my heart, I heard a voice. "Isn't it your month anniversary at work?" At that very moment, I wanted to cry for joy because God has made me feel, that just like a friend, He remembers everything. He knows me, my happiness and suffering. He heeds my call and sends me signs and miracles along the way. I just had to get on my knees and thank God for every blessing that he has given me these past month.

Today, I learned something big...If we pay attention and let God be active in our life, we'll see how real He is.

Lord, Thank You for calling me by name and giving me every gift and talent that I have. I pray that You would help me to diligently use them to glorify You and others.

The Latest

2009-06-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7:3, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (NIV)

I refuse to watch primetime news for more than a month now. All because of the Hayden Co circus. Hayden, I agree, wronged a lot of women, and he super offended me as well, because I too, am a woman. Yet I do believe that he doesn't deserve what the media, more so the senate is making out of this. This blog is not meant in any way to defend, offend, discuss, rehash or remark about Hayden. This is actually about me, and perhaps you who are reading this. Thinking about this really makes me pause to remember, Hayden is a person. Real person with real feelings. No amount of worldly success or popularity takes away the sting of cruelty being thrown in his direction.

Just recently, I heard from a friend that a former co-worker of mine who became the constant butt of jokes, because of his annoying attitude, is getting worse. I do get often get irritated with this guy. He would bother me with victim stories, know-it-all rants, blaming words, etc. He is most of the time a pain, as he rarely listens. He just love to rant, rant and rant. And in all honestly, (I know some people in my network would get surprised) I am bothered. There must be a deep-seated reason why he has such attitude. And that, I do not know. But I do know that this guy is struggling both in the personally and professionally.

In complete humility I'm using this event, to say a prayer for him. This is an opportunity to I look within me and reflect on my own life, issues and weaknesses. And guess what, I found myself falling short. So I am setting aside my judgement of another and pray for myself, for Hayden and for all who are struggling, including my former colleague. I do believe that as a Christian, we are accountable for each other. Making judgmental remarks, rolling our eyes, belittling someone we don't personally know or do life with in the real world is not necessary. It's totally missing the mark of what God has called us to be.

And may we always remember that the two people in question above are loved by God. He may not love their actions and He most certainly doesn't love anyone's sin, but these guys, He loves. We are loved. Totally and immensely, unfathomably and remarkably, beautifully and abundantly loved.

Dear Lord, before I start picking at the splinters that are so easy to spot in other's eyes, may I have the humility to examine the plank I don't want to see in my own eye. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Living Out Loud

2009-05-22T00:59:00.000-07:00

I'm going to stop hiding.
I'm going to stop holding myself back and playing myself down.
I'm going to stop worrying about how I look and what people are saying.
I'm going to stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about me.
I'm going to stop waiting for someone to tell me that I am okay or to make me feel special.
Life is special! It is a special gift! This is my life! I take my gift and live it out in the open!
Today is the day I start living out loud!

Recipes for Self Love

2009-05-19T15:49:00.000-07:00

Take full responsibility for your life.
Stop blaming others.
See yourself as the cause of what happens to you.

Do things you like to do.
Don't stay in a job you don't like.
Participate in life at the highest level you can.

Stop terrorising yourself with your thoughts.
Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.

Give yourself the simple pleasures of life abundantly.
Wear clothes you feel good in, get a massage etc.

Watch what you say. Avoid self put-downs.
Stop being critical of yourself and others.

Take care of your body.
Give it exercise and good food.

Be willing to create a life-style that generates and nourishes self-esteem.
Associate with others with high esteem.

Acknowledge yourself frequently.
Keep a diary of your successes and accomplishments.

Avoid comparing yourself with others.
Remember that it's who we are, not what we do, that's important

Give yourself permission to do nothing periodically.
Schedule time by yourself.

Frequently take deep breaths.
Discover the benefit and pleasure of breathing fully.

Eat first class frequently.
Don't look at the right side of the menu.

Stop trying to change others.
Focus your attention on being the way you want others to be.

Look into a mirror regularly
and say "I love you, I really love you".

Stop feeling guilty and saying "I'm sorry".
See mistakes as valuable lessons and avoid judging yourself.

Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love
in place of old thoughts of inadequacy.

Be willing to laugh at yourself and at life.
Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Accept compliments from others without embarrassment.
Don't invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you.

Be kind to your mind.
Don't hate yourself for having negative thoughts.
Gently change your thoughts.

Keep your awareness and your thoughts focussed in present time
instead of living in the past or future.

Acknowledge others frequently.
Tell them what you like and appreciate in them.

Invest money in yourself.
Go to seminars, workshops and courses that develop your talents.

Make a list of 10 things
you love doing and do them frequently.

Treat yourself as you would treat someone you really loved.
Praise yourself.

Author Unknown

Recent Misadventures

2009-05-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

I couldn't wait to get my hands dirty again. So my goal for the week was to complete my pre-employment requirements. I was given a one-week lead time to process them all, but sad to say, I could see that it's not going to happen.

I woke up early so that I would be at the NBI office around 8am. I was surprised as I saw the long queue from afar. Oh I see, I'm not early enough. A tall man intercepted me and offered his "fixing" services. He was selling his services blatantly in front of the Office of Congressman Crisologo and the NBI office. For a price of P350, yes, I wouldn't have to fall in line. He was assuring me that it would get done asap, and he even signaled to the his contact inside the NBI office. I told him, no thanks. I wouldn't give these guys business.

After the long wait, as expected, I have a hit, just because my maiden name is Rodriguez, which according to them, is a common one, and most likely there's a Rodriguez criminal. Gosh, don't they update their system? I've been married for more than a decade now and always, without fail, during my married life, I get hit. What kind of stupid system do they have? They should have updated their list because I'm not a part of their "real" hit list. That's why I hate getting an NBI clearance because after all the waiting, all I get is a receipt asking me to come back after a week.

And as I was doing my agency hopping I am very dismayed with how some government employees treat people as if they are dumb oafs. Disappointed to see frontliners who'd rather comb their hair or chat with their colleagues while making people wait. Appalled to know that officieals and enforcers allow fixers take advantage of people who badly need clearances.

Then there are offices who wouldn't let you ask simple questions like "where should I go next", just because they are on a break! There is this office where there is long series of windows with "closed" signs. There are about 12 windows and only 2 are open. So, where are the peeps?

I know that there are still some are decent people, and when they see the abuse, they sort of crawl into a niche and pray like crazy not to get in the way of these officers who are wielding their power over hapless civilians.

I am aware that no matter where I am, I will run into rude behavior and ho hum attitudes. I just hope the frontliners I encountered would strip the negative vision of a government employee and help us realize who government employees really are: hardworking, diligent and ready to serve others.

Evil Foreboding Begone

2009-05-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

After being interviewed by the general manager, and not knowing if I had made an positive impression on him, I felt so worried about my status.

Then a call from my headhunter came in and told me that the interview with the general manager went well and an offer is being arranged by the human resources. I almost jumped for joy. But still, without the offer, I'm still unsure.

I am fighting all this doubting and I find it very difficult. It was quite a coincidence when the priest talked about doubting and worry when I heard mass. Great timing, but I choose to believe that it is God speaking to me.

The priest discussed about "evil foreboding" coined by best-selling author Joyce Meyer. Evil foreboding according to Joyce is negative thinking attracting negative events to happen.

I just realize now that optimistic people are like warriors as they are continuously at war with limiting beliefs. I may find myself weak and tired as I wield my sword to the enemy. Strength is replenished when I go down on my knees and pray.

And now, I realize that I should be more excited than doubtful. A lot of God's promises will come true next week.

On Mothering

2009-05-09T17:32:00.000-07:00

The most common word association with mothering is nurturing — and this practice is not limited by gender or any other characteristic. All of us, male and female, single or married, old or young, have the potential to give birth and raise something in the world. In a prayer written for Mother's Day, Pamela Spence Bakker used the following images. Choose those you most identify with and reflect in your journal or in conversation about which you identify with.

Some of us give birth to:
• children
• ideas
• art
• music

Some of us raise:
• animals
• flowers or vegetables
• our friends
• our parents
• our brothers and sisters
• interest in a cause
• money for charity
• concerns
• our voices against injustice
• our eyebrows
• Cain

source: Spirituality & Practice

On Mother's Day

2009-05-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

On this day, we acknowledge the love, nurture, protection, and teaching a mother gives to her children. The sacred, life-giving role mothers play is the very foundation of society. Orphans and others who may not have experienced a mother’s personal love are not excluded from this celebration. How can we ever adequately thank the millions of men and women who offer maternal love and service? Even friendship is ultimately a mothering of each other, bringing to birth the child we are meant to be. Today we can all remember whatever mothering life and nature have given us and gratefully pass it on.

Mother's Day was initiated by activist Julia Ward Howe after the Civil War, to encourage women to "take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace."

source: Grateful Living

photo by Anne Geddes

On Faith

2009-05-08T17:39:00.000-07:00

So, when something out of the ordinary happens,
some event that brings reassurance
that our faith is trustworthy,
we welcome it with all our heart.
But the lesson is the same,
time after time:
ultimately
everything is going to be okay.

— Mitch Finley in Whispers of Love

Angels Among Us

2009-05-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

"We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other." -- Luciano De Crescenzo

I've thought about it for quite some time now. For me angels manifest signs that God is everywhere. I look around and find myself looking at people and events with wide eyed wonder.

We often don't stop and contemplate all the good things in life. we are all touched by angels all the time. But we perhaps are so busy being angry or hurt or wrapped up in our own problems that we just don't notice the angels around us ready to help, encourage or just give us a smile. i particularly love it when a small child (a stranger) just gives that fleeting little shy smile which you can take with you in your heart for a while, a man who offered his seat to you, or a friend who is willing to listen and let you cry on her shoulder.

Although they don’t arrive with a blast of trumpets, or appear with feathered wings and glowing halos, I've known them just the same as angels. They perform their acts in human guise, sometimes borrowing the faces of family and friends, and sometimes just posing as well-meaning strangers.

I am blessed to have angels on my side. You know who you are. Your unwavering support, friendship, and kind words are as inspiring and heartfelt as any I have known.

I've had an angel on my shoulder, for years. But it's true that all you need to do is open your eyes to see the angels that enter our lives, every day!

Unspeakable Joy

2009-05-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

Since Wednesday, I've been all by myself. My family went to the province for a holiday and I chose to stay because I have appointments I couldn't cancel. Initially, I thought it would drive me crazy. It certainly felt strange without the chaos, the clutter and the noise at home. And now there is only strange silence...

However, I find joy amidst the silence. At last, I can now have my own inner journeys. I rejoice as I embark on my own holiday---an exciting adventure, an exploration to know my inner child.

I cried at mass today...I don't know why. I just cried not because I feel lonely that my family still hasn't come back to the province and I am hearing mass by myself. I felt an overwhelmingly unspeakable joy as I felt God's love embracing me today. I did not even utter a single word. I just listened and whatever it is taking over my being is so intense that I just let my tears stream down on my face.

During homily. the priest narrated a story of an extraordinary relationship between a shepherd and his flock. There was this shepherd in Africa who doesn't count his sheep. And so he was asked how would he know if he lost any of the sheep without doing a headcount. He answered: "I would know because, I would miss him that instant." The shepherd would not feel that there's something missing but this specific sheep is missing. Just as I know what I have been missing for days now...my family. And that's how God's love for us is like. If we are lost, he would know. He would look for us wait for us to come back to Him.

After mass, I headed to the mall to have lunch. I noticed a group of women gathered around a table having a bible study...I found a place near where they are gathered and focused on enjoying the sisig I was craving for weeks now. However, I just couldn't help but overhear the discussion coming from the group of ladies. The were talking about "wisdom". As I've been wisdom-searching for a long time now, my ears sort of perked up like a dog's. I noted one rather small lady who I presume to be the eldest in the group. She's small but her words are big enough to strike me. I recall her saying: "Knowledge is different from wisdom. You can get knowledge from books, from school, from anybody. On the other hand, wisdom comes straight from God. You ask and it will be given to you." As soon as she said this, our eyes met...she gave me a comforting smile. And then I know for sure...she is definitely an angel.

Photohunt: Walking

2009-05-02T08:44:00.001-07:00

A couple of years ago, my company shared to the community by planting trees in La Mesa Ecopark. I sweated buckets climbing up the stairs going to the ecopark. But seeing the breathtaking view from the top, it was worth it.

Teddy's Dinner

2009-05-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

And I didn't know that Teddy's vegetarian.

On bills

2009-05-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

Here are the bills again. I always dread them a little. They are familiar presences; first in the mail box, then in the bill drawer, now on the desk. Services rendered. My life depends on services rendered.

I am staring at the bills are piling up on top of my desk desk. Untouched, unopened. I think I'm going to have palpitations. Paying bills is becoming a painful issue, releasing toxic emotions keeping me locked in lack.

I know I need to release myself from feeling that I don't have enough. Help is on its way, I know and I can feel it coming. So now I retrieve memories when I pay bills with ease, recall positive feelings of plenty. I smile. Now, it isn't painful anymore to open an envelope...

Let me not skip into this monthly knowing, Instruct me in judicious spending and in gratitude with no holds barred. -- Gunilla Norris

Home Alone

2009-04-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

i should have posted some of stuff but I was

busy

freaking

out.

The whole family, including nephews, nieces, cousins, left for the province...

all but me!

Well, it will only be just for 4 days.

4 days HOME ALONE!

waaaah!

Victim, Villain or Victor?

2009-04-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

I learned that at times when life presents us with unpleasant circumstances, we are actually presented with choices...choices whether to be victim, villain or victor.

I arrived at this townhouse-turned-office 15 minutes early, grounded and geared up for the battle. I was led into a semi-lighted lobby with ultra-modern furniture to wait for the interviewer. I took out a I book I have been trying to finish. As I try to immerse myself in reading, I am distracted by employees running up and about. They seem not to notice me as they crack jokes, laugh and/or yell at each other. Then I notice a couple of noisy gays, thin gays, overweight gays, and gays pretending to be guys. I wonder how many gay people does this company have? Should be a lot, as I lost count. I thought this should be a fun company to work for. I have a lot of gay friends who are super dooper funny, they could double as stand-up comic. Never a dull moment with them gays.
m
And so I waited..finished 3 chapters of my book and check the time on my mobile. What the...?! 45 minutes had passed. Then a large figure in a red shirt, headed towards the entrance, put his hands on his hips, extenuating his gay authoritative persona. In his hands were a pack of Marlboro lights and was obviously going out for a smoke. Oh, I wanted have a puff too...but I remembered I just quit..Geez, I'm starting to get annoyed and impatient. After 15 minutes another applicant came in and after a couple of minutes, surprise, surprise, she was called in ahead of me...Hmmm...there is definitely something wrong in this scene...

Finally it was my turn to be interviewed. I entered the room and tadah! Big Red Guy on the other side of what appears to be a dining table (you the glass type table top adorned with plastic fruit basket as centerpiece)...I looked around. I see a sink..., a fridge....hmmm this must be the pantry. Looks very homey...In a large but deep gay voice, he told me "sorry to have kept you waiting..."

"Well, since I waited for more than an hour now, I think it's a good choice to stay and wait. I was thinking that you may have forgotten. I was surprised that the applicant who came in 45 minutes before me was called in first. I am not used to that. But now I see that you didn't forget. That's good enough" I replied, flashing a sarcastic smile.

The interview dragged on. I notice that the interviewer kept on raising an eyebrow and/or gave sarcastic remarks when I answer his questions. When I answered the question on figures, he raised both his eyebrows...Hahaha! . Looks like a scene from a Japanese anime.

I almost lost control. But thank God I remained poised throughout this tough interview. I am so proud of myself for shooting my beauty pageant answers at him spontaneously.

"Thank you for your time. I would completely understand if you don't make me an offer. I wish to work for a company where I PERFECTLY fit in." I told the interviewer when I shook his hands at the end of the interview. Not without a hint of sarcasm of course...

As I headed home, I laughing to myself, I thought "what a disaster!" "i won't let this incident spoil my day!" I know for a fact that life never fails to present me lessons to learn. It is up all up to me how I would accept the situations I am faced with.

And I am so tired of feeling wronged, of becoming the victim, it sucks! I also know that it is easier to react, get angry and unleash the villain inside me. Instead, I chose to keep my calm. I chose to be the victor! I am so glad I did!

Days of the Week

2009-04-23T17:17:00.000-07:00

MONDAY - Wash Day
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead.

TUESDAY - Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice. I have collected through the years
so that I may see the beauty in others.

WEDNESDAY- Mending Day
God help me to mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others.

THURSDAY - Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.

FRIDAY - Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.

SATURDAY - Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.

SUNDAY - The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart as my honored guest so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.

Copy and Paste

2009-04-23T11:48:00.000-07:00

10 Rules To The Game of Life

2009-04-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming more domestic nowadays. This morning I decided to dejunk the bodega. While moving out piles of boxes, I come to this smashed beat up box that show that it is holding piles of old books and magazines. The first book that sprung out of the box is, tadah, "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott. I let my fingers leaf through its yellowing pages, eyes scanning familiar life lessons. I remembered that that this book has uplifted my spirits more than once. Though it is short, and an easy-read, it is life changing and a gem of a book. I will not junk this book. It is one I will want to revisit--often.

I just want to share with you the 10 Rules to the Game of Life...

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for as long as you live. How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make and enormous difference in the quality of your life.

2. You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time school called Life. Each day you are presented with opportunities to learn what you need to know. The lessons presented are often completely different from those you think you need.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error and experimentation. You can learn as much from “failure” as you can from “success”.

4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it (as evidenced by a change in your attitude i\and behavior), then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no stage of life that does not contain some lessons. As long as you live, there will be something more to learn.

6. “There” is no better than “here”. When your “there” has become a “here” you will obtain another “there” that will again look better than your “here”. Don’t be fooled by believing the unattainable is better than what you have.

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself why you feel so strongly.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. Remember that through desire, goal setting and unflagging effort. You can have anything you want. Persistence is the key to success.

9. The answers lie within you. The solutions to all of life’s problems lie within your grasp. All you need to do is ask, look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all of this at birth. unless you consistently stay focused on the goals you have set for yourself, everything you have just read won’t mean a thing.

Beauty and the Beast

2009-04-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

And Life Unfolds Step-by-Step

2009-04-21T17:52:00.000-07:00

De La Costa Walkway through Landmark, Glorietta and SM to Ayala MRT. This was my usual route going home from work. And yes I miss those 15 to 20 minute walks, for I truly enjoyed it my walking buddies. But I used to think that if I had to do it alone, it sucks big time. Well okay, maybe it is a good exercise, but to keep my heart pumping, Turbo Jam is my best option. As long as I think of walking as an exercise, I never made it past the door.

There was a time I was so emotionally upset I felt as if I would jump out of my skin, and so I bolted out of the house. Filled with disappointments, painful memories and my own unrealistic expressions from the past--terrified of what the future held and the changes that were inevitable--the only safe place for me was the present moment: My foot against the pavement, the wind on my face, my breath entering and leaving the body. After forty minutes I stopped, discovered how far I have walked and headed back home calm and centered.

I enjoy walking alone now. I still do not it for exercise. I walk for for my soul and my body tags along.

photo grabbed from JoeBrill on Flickr

Cat n Mouse

2009-04-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Tita Linda's Journey

2009-04-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

We lost our Tita Linda the other day. It was just last month when she was diagnosed with cancer, the disease was already in advanced stage. Unfortunately, a few days ago, her condition made a sudden turn for the worse. In the end, she was still unable to overcome her illness.
Hailing from Bacolod, Tita Linda was cheerful and malambing. She was also an excellent cook and I will certainly miss her paella and home made strawberry ice cream.
Some people shine so brightly they light the way for others. My tita was such a person. Having that light snuffed out so suddenly is a loss to the world.

It is said that Death is like a great ocean, and we are on this shore seeing people depart. But every ocean has two shores, and every person we see depart is seen as arriving on that other shore. Death is not the end.

We are standing on the seashore.
A ship at our side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength and we stand and watch her until at length she is a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at our side says, 'There! She is gone. There, she is gone.'
Gone where?
Gone from our sight, that is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left our side and she is just as able to bear her load of living weight to her destined harbour.
Her diminished size is in us, not in her, and just at the moment when someone at our side shouts, 'There! She is gone. There, she is gone,' there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, 'Here she comes. At long last, here she comes!'
And that is dying.
-Henry Van Dyke

12 Things I miss

2009-04-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I miss a lot of people and stuff--close friends long been gone, food I haven't eaten in for a while, even shows I haven't seen in a long time. Here is a list of these that I would want to meet up, eat, and watch again:

1. My highschool friends. Ilang dekada na ang nakaraan since we've graduated.
2. My classmates in Maryknoll na baluktot ang dila.
3. Serg chocolate bar. They would melt in your mouth with all their milky goodness.
4. Chikadees. Lagi ako bumibili nito kasi may toy na sticky inside.
5. Scramble. shaved ice mixed with powdered skimmed milk, plenty of sugar, flavoring and pink food color. Frothy and super yummy.
6. Magnolia Chocolait in the bottle. Noong kinder ako, Chocovim ang brandname nito.
7. Tira-tira. Ang may salarin ng cavities ko
8. McDo strawberry milkshakes
9. Sundot-Kulangot. brown sweet sticky things placed inside small bamboo shoots that you eat with a small stick
10. Cheese Curls na binebenta ng magbobote na nakabalot sa yellowpage na directory.
11. The "I Can Feel It" Commercial ni Alice Dixson. Feel good commercial kasi to.
12. That's Entertainment. hahaha..ang jologs...

The Secret Life of Bees

2009-04-20T03:12:00.001-07:00

The central character of the book is a young girl named Lily Owens, who lives with her abusive father. Her mother died in a tragic accident and Lily is thirsty for more information about her mother’s life and death. She has a few of her mother's belongings that she clings to and imagines the stories of how these items came to be in her mother's possession. She is close to her care-taker, Rosaleen, who is a big strong black woman. However, loving a black woman is hardly seen as proper, as Lily is living in South Carolina in 1964, in the midst of racial tension and deep rooted discrimination.

The story really takes off when a series of unfortunate events leads Lily to take the risk and run away from home with Rosaleen in tow. What happens next inspires and delights as you go with Lily to discover what life is really about. It is a tremendously inspiring and healing journey with beautiful and colorful characters.

There is a special kind of writing style that speaks to a woman’s spirit and makes her soul rejoice. It can be difficult to find such a book, but when found it is a real treasure. In the novel, “The Secret Life of Bees,” by Sue Monk Kidd, I found myself laughing and crying along with the characters. I felt deeply connected to the women in the novel and was sad to see my new friends go when the story came to an end. Sue Monk Kidd truly breathed life into this book, in a way that takes tremendous talent. I find myself longing for a sequel, just so I can see what my beloved characters are up to now! If you are a woman, you are almost guaranteed to love this book! The writing style is distinctly feminine and beautiful. I thought to myself, “It is about time I read something from a powerful female perspective.” For me, reading this book came as naturally as breathing.

The Sun is Up Again

2009-04-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank my friends for helping me to come out of the tunnel. The sun is coming out again in my life. I am getting back in control of my emotions, my family, my career. Though there are no positive feedbacks yet from the resumes I've churned, I am just so goddamn content at the moment.

Things will get better. I am slowly resurfacing from the muck. I am now making plans. So starting tomorrow:

1. I will wake up early, sip my tea and go jogging or perhaps do a turbo jam workout.
2. I will keep myself busy by reading (books that I've bought but never been read). I will have read at least 2 good books a month.
3. I will take a creative writing course as well.
4. I'm going back to journaling to rediscover my authentic self.
5. I'm going to take advantage of my free time for my family.

I am not a much of a planner, but it makes me feel good. It gives me something to focus on. It keeps me from sitting in front of the TV saying "hey get up and move!"

Now, as I look around I feel my life is full and brimming. I now notice small miracles, a friend's comforting words, my fluffy pillow, a child's sweet embrace, and a lot more. Thank you God for blessing me.

Lessons Adults Need To Learn From Kids

2009-04-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

As we get older, we tend to forget a few things about life, especially our health.

Here's a few things kids do, that we can try to incorporate into our lives once again, to make our lives just a bit better.

1. Eat breakfast in the morning.

We're taught as kids to eat breakfast in the morning no matter what. Studies have proven breakfast helps kids do better in school. So why is that as we grow older as adults, we neglect the most important meal of the day?

2. Hate homework.

I hated homework as a kid and I'm pretty sure most of you will agree. All homework did was come in the way of the fun stuff. We did it because we had to, but because we wanted to. With that in mind, many adults continue to bring their work home.

That causes a problem on many fronts. You can't watch TV, you can't enjoy a quiet meal, you can't spend time with your family because you're too busy doing "homework". You have the option of getting it done in the office, so do it. You hated it as a kid, why would you continue to bring it home as an adult?

3. Ask questions.

My favorite teacher in elementary school used to always make me ask questions. She knew I was a shy kid who would never ask a question unless I was forced to. She said kids need to ask questions in order to learn, even if they're embarrassing ones. Since then I haven't stopped.

But as adults, we forget to do this. We don't allow ourselves to learn from others, because we're afraid of being ridiculed by our peers for not knowing something. If kids can deal with humiliation for not knowing something, why can't adults have the balls to ask something they don't know?

4. Having fun.

As children we threw baseballs, played hoops, wrestled, ran around for no reason. We didn't care about fitness or exercising, we did it because it was fun. Yet as adults, we incorporate words like diet, fitness and weight loss into our daily vocabulary.. Why can't we just do what we did as kids, enjoy playing outside with our friends, throwing a baseball around and having fun?

5. Too Much = Stomachache

"Don't eat too much ice cream", " Put down the soda!". That's what our parents told us and we listened, because they were always right. So how come adults over eat, get drunk and do stupid things?

Why can't we just take a page out of our childhood days, we all just might be a little better off.

We could all learn a few things from kids, don't you agree?

Why is it so hard for some adults to do the little things to get in shape, stay active or enjoy their life?

Children Are Dogs...Teenagers Are Cats

2009-04-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat... When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears.

You won't see it again until it gets hungry... then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.

When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.

Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you.

But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

2009-04-18T16:49:00.000-07:00

Don Miguel Ruiz is known as a nagual, or shaman, of the Toltec tradition. The Toltecs were an ancient group of scientists and artists that was formed to explore and preserve the practices and spiritual knowledge of the ancient ones. It is not a religion, but a way of life that embraces spirit and honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. Toltec wisdom arises from the same essential unity of truth as other sacred esoteric traditions that are found all over the world.

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, what everyone else is, how to act, what is possible, and what is impossible. What we have agreed to believe creates what we experience. When these agreements come from fear, blocks and obstacles develop keeping us from realizing our greatest potential.

Based on ancient Toltec wisdom ,the Four Agreements are very simple, but very profound. To embrace and live each of the Four Agreements is to find yourself experiencing personal freedom--possibly as never before. The Four Agreements are:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

Photohunt: Purple

2009-04-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

nature never ceased to be wonderful...

A Bad Hair Day Inspiration to Alyanna

2009-04-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

a beauty tip to my daughter Alyanna, when she was having one of her bad hair days...

Alyanna,

You have just turned 14 and as expected, have now gotten quite conscious about how you look. You like everything about yourself, except...well your hair.

While most of your sisters have fine, straight hair, you are blessed to be different, therefore you stand out. But you believe otherwise. You hate your coarse, thick, wiry, stubborn hair and so I buy you hair shining serums, treatments, conditioners and even a hair iron to at least straighten it temporarily. In time, I may take you to the salon to have a rebond, but then, we know that rebond is makes your hair sleek and straight only for a few days, if you are lucky weeks. It only makes your hair brittle and or rubbery as chemicals alter the natural bonds in your hair.

Well most of us are being brainwashed that if we just get the right shampoo, conditioner and treatment products, our hair will finally behave like that of the women in those tv commercials, black, straight and shiny and therefore makes us acceptable, attractive to other people. Let me tell you this: advertising = brainwashing. Do not believe in everything these advertisers say.

We often think that beauty is what you do to yourself; how straight is you hair, what you wear, makeup, clothes, or expensive jewelry. Again it is so easy to get caught up in "things". Reality is not about what we wear but who we are.

I am lucky to have really nice shiny hair when I was at your age. But after all the pregnancies, work-related stress, household problems, I guess my hair lost its luster. I too have had waged battles with fly-aways, split ends, unruly locks too. I gave up fighting. I wash it, maybe mousse it, let it dry and that's it. Some days it looks okay, other days it looks woebegone. and yet the process is virtually the same. Hair humbles us, and we need to make peace with it.

We have to accept our hair and acknowledge its personality. So whether it's thick or thin, coarse or fine, straight or curly; the way it breaks when permed, is getting gray or insists on parting down the middle. Learning to accept your hair is part of the process of learning to love yourself. The poet Marianne Moore believed that "Your thorns are the best part of you," and she was right.

Love,

Your glam mother

PS So now you know why I chose to stay simple. I dress simply, do not wear too much makeup, wear my hair as it is. For I believe that I am naturally beautiful...Well, aren't we all?

Full Measure of Happiness

2009-04-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness. ~Barack Obama

Defense Against the Dark Arts

2009-04-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

“Lord Voldemort’s gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust.” - Albus Dumbledore

Can you remember a time when after pulling yourself up out of the muck and more of feeling bad, you have found the joy of doing and feeling good, only to have someone or something bad push you back down into the mud?

Last week, I have been up in spirits. I am very optimistic that all will be well soon. I didn't give self-limiting beliefs and negative thoughts a chance to take over the way I look at life. I blessed everything, everyone. I was so happy. This morning, I was even happier and all giddy when my headhunter texted me telling me that she has something for me and that she super recommended me to this US multinational company. The senior exec called me up in the evening to sched a meeting. Meeing agad? Well, what the heck, eto na to! Suddenly, all my hopes were shattered when Issa told me to do some research because I might have been duped. So took her advice, googled the name of the person who called me, and voila.... I am misled that I have been presented a great job opportunity. Networking pla in disguise of a job opportunity. I don't have any problems with MLMs, it's just that I hate it when people deceive to attract wealth, people, relationships. I hate it when people take advantage of other people's weaknesses, ignorance, misfortunes, vulnerabilities. So ayun, this person had my hopes up, only to make me fall on my face. It hurts, it only made my troubles worse. I hate feeling like this and I really want to get out of this rut.

There is a dark force, an energy, which enters life at the most inconvenient times, in very disruptive ways. Some would call it the devil, others negative energy or bad vibes. If or when this force enters our lives, we call it trouble, problem, challenge, crisis, adversity. Whatever it is, I have to be aware. When the dark force enters my life, it has only one intent: to whip my butt. That's right, the darkness is out to beat me.

Darkness is not afraid of me. Defending myself against darkness with brute force will only get us beaten up pretty badly. I want to swear at my headhunter for having misled me. But then, mapapagod lang ako. My vision will only be shattered even more.

What will I do? This time I'll have to stop proving myself to anyone.
1. I will finds depth and strength in my friends, beyond what I know
2. I will I will humble myself. I will lie down, cover my face....and then raise my voice in prayer, trusting that help is on the way. I will protect myself with prayer and trust.

Today, I am devoted to calling on the Great Defender if I am confronted by forces of darkness!

-Until Today

Two Dogs

2009-04-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

There are two dogs inside. The one you feed is the one that grows...

Wonder Twin Powers ...Activate!

2009-04-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Thank God, my kids are starting to help out in the housework. Yanna washed the dishes, Angela sorted out the clothes, Chloe and Andrea helped take out the clutter. Although the analogy is rather crude, I thought of our teawork as a bit like that of the Wonder Twins.

Like most 80's kids, I am an early Saturday morning riser, because of the Saturday Fun Machine aired in Channel 9. One of my favorites is Superfriends. which features the Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna. These teenage aliens have the power to transform themselves into an animal or water form in order to help save the day. To do this, they had to bump their fists and say the words - you guessed it - Wonder Twin Powers - ACTIVATE!

So ano ang connection sa mga masisipag kong kids? Ano ang connection sa life?

Individually, the Wonder twins were just teenage aliens from Exxor, with a pet monkey called Gleek. They could only use their powers if they worked together! Individually we may be strong, but together we can be very powerful.

Oo, laos na ang Wonder twins, pero di naman nalalaos ang synergy from teamwork e. So Kung gusto nyo ma-activate ang power, magtulungan na lang. Things can get done when we help each other. Much greater things are always bound to happen when two or more agree and work together.

Andito na si Cathy!

2009-04-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

I feel so proud looking as I look at today's page in my Belle de Jour organizer. I have crossed out all of my tasks. Yay! I have scrubbed the bathroom floors, mopped the floor clean, prepared meals for my kids, paid the bills, go to the hardware to buy some tools, and the list goes on....

My hands are all sore from today's household this morning, Sakit sa kamay ng detergent. My back hurts, and so does the soles of my feet. I need to go back to work. I don't think I will survive this domestic life.

But in the meantime...pahinga muna...Andito na savior ko, si Cathy...ang bago kong executive assistant. Whew!

Splish Splash!

2009-04-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

On a hot summer day, there's really nothing else to do but have fun.

Undomestic gets Domestic

2009-04-07T03:57:00.000-07:00

Today, Melody, our househelp for 3 years is leaving. She's gotten homesick and yearns to go back to the simple life. I begged, cried and wailed. Alas, my cries of despair fell on deaf ears. What a shame....

This is horrible, for I am the ultimate shirker of cleaning. Believe me, I have tried. If there is a way to avoid the mop or the flat iron, I will find it! Don't get me wrong, my mother trained me in the fine art of cleaning, but I really find domestic chores exhausting and boring. You tidy your house one day and the very next morning, it's time to start all over again. It will never stop. When I was younger, I was always the one sent to go to the market or pay the bills....or...well you get the picture. When I started having my own family, I demanded that I will be the one to take care of the baby (so i that I would get more sleep) and perhaps a little bit of cooking while my family gets someone to do the cleaning (well, you can just imagine the irritation of my in-laws...hehe).

This morning Alan my dear husband asked: "Are you going to do the laundry today? I'm just about out of clean underwear." I hesitated checking out the laundry hamper, too afraid that I would see it turn into a laundry mountain which kept growing and moving like Oscar the Grouch's dream glacier.

But today, everything needs to change. If Mary Poppins could make this fun, why can't I? I woke up early and checked out the things that need to be done--the dishes piling up the sink, the clutter in my closet, and rooting out the dust and grime in every little nook and cranny, and so on. With my domestic guardian angel by my side, I guess I will survive.

At this very moment, I am visualizing the smiles and hugs, as my loved ones walk from room to room. I shall sit back, sip my glass of iced tea and and watch their expressions as they discover what color the curtain really is. The moment that will make it all worthwhile, is when they seem hesitant to use the bathroom, just in case they make a mess.

And so after the housework is finished, I shall treat myself to something decadent. I'll have my nails done, and get that long overdue massage.

Today, the Undomestic Goddess becomes Domestic.

She has become the Domestic Diva.

Life Is a Bag of Jelly Beans too...

2009-04-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

One lazy afternoon, Chloe, my girl three, decided that we invade the Jelly Bean bag Tita Marie gave us. We just love jellybeans, the chewiness and the softness inside. What I love best about them is the mystery flavor each colored jelly bean brings.

Adventurous as she is, she suggested to eat the Jelly Beans at random, which means no choosing of flavors, well just to make it more exciting. I would pick one from the bag, sniff it, hoping it's not licorice or cinnamon, then pop it in my mouth. Chloe would do the same too. There were good ones and there were bad ones. The strawberry daiquiri jelly beans tasted delicious. So did the strawberry cheesecake ones. The buttered popcorn ones were so-so, but the caramel popcorn jelly beans were oh-so yummy. We both hated cinnamon and licorice, but we had to eat all anyway.

"Jelly Beans are different colors and flavors. A lot like life, which is always full of mysteries." I told Chloe. "All of us will have to experience the sweetness, spicyness, sourness and bitterness to really appreciate life. You will experience getting hurt, abused, rejected. It is your choice whether to react, or act on it, or just do nothing about it. And your choice is important...as it will show you who you really are."

"So when any of these troubles come, you know what to do, okay?"

Chloe replied with a sheepish grin: "It's simple, mommy...Enjoy your Jelly Beans!"

The Secret to You

2009-04-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

A great way to start our day.....
Have, do, or be anything you want.

Seeing Signs

2009-03-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

I used to believe that there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. I arrogantly assumed that because I knew how something worked that God couldn't be involved. I watched the rain and thought, "That's not God, that's just condensation! I just couldn't believe that there was anything more to this than a random cumulonimbus" And the tightness in my chest and tears welling up in my eyes? "That's not my 'soul' yearning for anything, that's just chemical reactions in my brain!" Because, in my mind, there was a natural explanation for everything,

Yesterday, I had a tough panel interview from an office in Makati. As I started heading back home, I had a hard time deciding whether to take the walkway route ( which I used to take) or take the Greenbelt route (which is quite unfamiliar). The walkway route would be a long lonely walk for me. I used to walk this way with friends and the memories would only make me sadder. Well, I need the distractions and anyways and I feel the adventure would help curb my loneliness and so I took the Greenbelt way.

As I was going up the escalator a young man from a non-profit org approached me and tried to strike a conversation. I tried to avoid him, thinking he would just sell me something. He sort of blocked my way and asked "Hey did you participate in the Earth Hour?" he asked flashing his 60 min Id lace. "Yes, I did" I lying through my teeth. (Well I forgot, ok!). And then I thought to myself. well what the heck, I have a lot of time to spare and there's something about this man which I find so pleasant and comforting. While walking towards their booth, I suddenly remembered that other day, I vowed that I would give back to the community by the time God would bless me with the resources. I thought to myself "Masyadong advanced si God gusto na nya magpledge ako kasi paparating na daw ang resources. =)"

The guy gave me info about the their org's mission and programs which I found very interesting. He then asked what I'm doing. I told him I'm in between jobs and I just came from a tough interview. He was curious and asked me where and I told him. "Hey, I used to be in advertising too!" he said flashing his teeth. Then suddenly, we were like old pals who haven't seen each other for a while. He told me not to worry because I would get it soon. He even gave me his number telling me to text him once I got the call. A sign from God? Definitely. I was so weak, and He gave me strength. I was so alone, and He gave me comfort.

I rejoice in the thought that I just met a friend and recognize "HI ELAINE! IT'S ME GOD" written all over his face. The past few days, I have stopped struggling and manipulating the outcome of a circumstance. It is when I come to recognize the existence of signs. I realized that in times of surrender, signs are more obvious to me. Signs are little miracles which are manifested to comfort me and to affirm God's love for me. They give me the opportunity to recognize the blessings that surround me and even the beauty of the chaos around me.

This morning, I logged on my facebook as usual and the first entry I saw made me smile...It was as if the words are smiling back at me...Paolo Coehlo's blog on Signs. =)

Have a great week ahead!

The Optimist's Creed

2009-03-31T14:59:00.000-07:00

The Optimist's Creed was written by Christian D. Larson in 1912. C.D.Larson was an Inspirational Teacher. The Creed was written with the intent of summoning ALL GOOD into your life.

In the midst of this financial mess, pessimism is not an option. A positive attitude would give us the strength, vision and hope, to confront the adversities of life

Click here to experience “The Optimist Creed”

I PROMISE MYSELF. . .

to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

to talk health and happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

to make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

to look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

to think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature that I meet.

to give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

to think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

to live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Photohunt: Hand

2009-03-28T09:37:00.000-07:00

...open the door to new beginnings...

Weary In the Waiting

2009-03-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

It’s happening again. I’m growing weary in the waiting. Why? Because it’s taking too long, and while I’m waiting others around me seem to be getting the very things I’ve been waiting for.

I had no idea back in October last year that being too comfy would wreck my world, would put me where I am without a job. Since January, I’ve been churning out resumes hoping that something is just going to plop right into my lap. Almost 3 months after, wala pa rin. Bakit ngayon pa nangyari to…sinabayan ko pa ang global crisis. Now, bills are piling up, and school opening is just around the corner. Ubos na ang savings. I am so worried, so afraid. I cry and whine. Then I cry some more. I am growing tired of waiting…almost ready to give up.

I've been lamenting about my circumstances lately and grumbled far too much, so much so that I'm beginning to loathe myself. Nahihiya na ako sa friends kasi feeling ko emotional vampire na ako. I decide that enough is enough! Someone please give me a hard knock on my head for whining so much.

Why is it so hard to wait? I have been praying and seeking His direction for what the next chapter in my life should be. I don't know what is coming, A still small voice reminds me that:

1. I’m not alone. I have a family and a handful of friends who care unconditionally.

2. God wants me to trust in Him.

3. God has BIG plans for me.

If only I could hold still in His hands, He would make something out of me.

So now, I’m waiting yet another minute, another hour, another day.

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

My Shining Star

2009-03-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

Meet Chloe, my Girl No. 3. Looking at her pics, I couldn't bring myself to the fact that my little girl has metamorphosed from being a shy and quiet one to now a sociable, confident, responsible, and independent girl of twelve.

Invisible Girl
When she was younger, Chloe used to seem invisible. Her tiny frame and "emily the strange" manner made her barely noticeable to anyone but me, her mom. I wondered... will she be always this hidden from the world?

Shining Moment
Last week was Chloe's shining moment--her graduation from grade school. Not a tremendous milestone, in the scheme of things, but very important to her. She bagged four academic distinction awards and I am so proud of her. I couldn't help but brag about her.

Chloe is indeed far from invisible. She's a shining star in my eyes.

Getting Back Up

2009-03-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

One time I was flying high, too high that I landed flat on my face. Now I realized I lost my wings as over and over, I find myself flat on my face. Job hunting is getting to be quite daunting. After all the preparations for the job interviews, I find myself waiting and waiting and waiting...Days go into weeks; weeks stretch into months and still no job offer. I am now beginning to feel a sense of rejection and hopelessness.

I sometimes feel disgruntled about something, thinking about how unfair some things are. I wonder how am I going to face the situation tomorrow?

Then I saw this video, and ... sigh, whom am I to complain? And why should I ever complain? I wish I had half the moral fibre this guy does.

Now all I have to do is keep on taking that leap of faith and learning from each and every mistake until I become used to jumping and used to falling. I will run with everything that have and dive into my dreams with so much passion and fire that I forget all about the possibility of failing. It's only until then, will I find my wings again.

Learning to Wait

2009-03-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

I wait impatiently, pacing to and fro. I wait for my mobile phone to ring, "Tawag na please!". I wait frustratingly and sometimes to the point of giving up. They say waiting is a good thing. At times we wait arrogantly, patting our feet with our hands on our hips. We may wait in indifference, picking our teeth and shrugging our shoulders. We sometimes wait in anger, huffing, puffing, and pounding our fists on the table. Then there are times we wait helplessly, hopelessly, with our heads bowed and hands in our pockets. Maybe how we wait is just as important as what we are waiting for.

I just learned that waiting does not mean sitting around in fantasy land, anticipating that something good will fall down on me from the sky and hit me on the head. That is not waiting at all, but fooling myself into not taking responsibility for my vision, my dreams and my desires. Waiting is the realization that God knows what is best for me and while waiting, my job is to put my faith in that realization.

Waiting requires joy accompanied by the belief that what I need or request will be provided. Waiting is believing that if it is good for me, if it will bless me and others, then what I ask must happen! Waiting is being enthusiastic and excited about what is yet to come. Waiting is clarity about the how come’s and what for’s of yesterday that have prepared me for the blessings of tomorrow. Yes, indeed waiting is good!

I may have believed that just waiting to be blessed or inspired or guided or discovered, was all I have to do. I may not have been aware of how I was waiting and what I was really expecting.
Now, I devote myself to examining who I am and be willing to make necessary changes. I am devoted to not wait in vain.

Photohunt: Space

2009-03-07T09:21:00.000-08:00

It was Len's wedding day. Maeve doesn't want to get into her gown...and had one of her tantrums. We had to give her some space...

Photohunt:Thankful

2009-02-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

Chloe reminds me how blessed I am for having her as my angel.

Breaking News: Batman, anak ni Superman?

2009-02-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

Thank you for calling, this is BATMAN'

'Who am I speaking to?..'
'Batman...'

' May I have your name again pls?'
'My name is Bat-man...'

'Trying to be funny huh?!. What is your surname?..'
'Supar-man...'

'I want to speak with your manager...!'

Photohunt: Nautical

2009-02-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

We were aboard on another ferry to Marinduque for a holiday when I took this picture. As the two ferries meet, each blasted its horns at one other as if they are two old friends happy to meet again.

Photohunt: Bridges

2009-02-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

I joined my daughter Angela in her field trip at the Avilon Zoo. I was really excited going with her because it is an opportunity to bond with her, experience going on a field trip once more, get to be young again. The bridge is one of the most beautiful scenes and I just had to take a pic of it.

The Time Traveller's Wife

2009-01-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Henry DeTamble is a time traveler, although not by choice. A genetic mutation causes him to spontaneously travel through time, disappearing from view, leaving behind his clothes and possessions, and arriving naked in another time and another place. For the most part, this is a curse. Henry often has to turn to petty crime to feed and clothe himself when he travels, and must run from people, thugs, or the police. Eventually Henry returns to his present time, bringing only the bodily injuries he's suffered back with him. Sometimes he travels back in time and visits an earlier version of himself. One of the places to which he travels often is the meadow behind Clare's house, and throughout her younger years, Clare meets him there and falls in love with him.

This is a short preview of the Henry and Clare's story in Audrey Niffenegger's amazing debut model, The Time Traveller's Wife. Far from a sci-fi exploration space-time continuum, it is a heartfelt love story of two people who must live with this curse. Niffenegger amazingly, has seamlessly sewn the time travel technicalities into a wonderful love story.

The Time Traveler's Wife is also more than a love story between two people. It explores all the relationships of their lives: their parents, families, friends, and ex-lovers.

A highly recommended read. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will leave you on the edge of your seat as Henry time travels. Once you're buried within this novel and fully immersed in their lives, you have to suffer their pain as well as celebrate their joys with Henry and Clare.

2009-01-17T19:47:00.000-08:00

Strictly from an avid reader point of view as opposed to a literature critic, I found the book completely engaging. The author built an intricate story of possibilities of character around several accurate historical facts. She absorbed me completely into the story and changed my perspective on Marie Antionette's absolute abandonment to a hedonistic life. Her character matured through the years as life began to give her experiences other than pleasure -- child birth, death of a child, hatred of the populace, and finally death by the guilloutine, where her last sights and sounds were of the madden mob shouting in victory and glee over her beheading. Naslund has an amazingly way with detail resulting in a very rich read.

2009-01-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

The Book was OK, leaning towards good. Here's how.

The basic premise of the book is the search for the Grail (yes, another one!). Of course all ideas are original, just that some are rather less original than others. Keeping snide remarks aside, the book does have its strong points, and one must give credit where it deserves.

Kate Mosse has successfully managed to weave a yarn, stretching over more than 800 years, involving some rather exotic themes and preparing a broth that at times looks like overkill. The story revolves around Alais who, towards the beginning of the 13th century gets involved in the safekeeping of the Grail, and Alice, who in the early part of the 21st century, stumbles (literally!) across the same.

While the plot might look convoluted to many if not most readers, it certainly does manage to hold attention for a majority of the book's 500+ pages. But there are times when the author's attention to detail just doesn't sell. Also, the fact that the story involves latent memory, and some really long-living characters doesn't help either.

All said and done, I would have loved this book if it had:
- been about 300-odd pages in length,
- avoided the 800-year time-span OR at least not drawn (unneccesary)parallels in the characters in the two eras

Be that as it may, the description of France of the 13th century is quite beautiful, and this is one aspect where the use of ten words instead of five (as the Mosse is sometimes prone to using) indeed does justice to the reading pleasure. Also, character development is good and coherent. The war scenes are also well-written and tempered.

The weakest link - the love story of Alice. I was taken off-guard when it happened.

Photohunt: Hope

2009-01-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

He who plants a tree, plants hope.

Beauty Tips from Audrey Hepburn

2008-07-21T05:29:00.000-07:00

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

- Audrey Hepburn (when asked to share her 'beauty tips.' )

Yoda Quotes

2008-02-13T14:54:00.000-08:00

Very wise, Master Yoda for me is so. An inspiration he is. Small in size yet huge his heart is. So, gathered some gems of wisdom here I have. Enjoy!

"Already know you that which you need..."

"Try not. Do or do not, there is no try...."

"Size matters not! Judge me by my size, do you?"
- The Empire Strikes Back

"Beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...aggression. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight."

"Ohhh! Great warrior! Wars not make one great!"

"You must unlearn what you have learned."

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will..."

"You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive." A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. "

"A Jedi's strength flows from the Force."

"A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind."

"Always in motion is the future."

"Concentrate...feel the Force flow. Yes. Good. Calm, yes. Through the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future...the past. Old friends long gone."

"Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you."

"Grave danger you are in. Impatient you are."

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."

"Always in motion is the future."

"Around the survivors a perimeter create."

"May the force be with you."

"Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see."

"A Jedi's strength flows from the Force."

"Help you I can, yes."

"Strong am I with the force." =

"Agree with you the council does. Your apprentice Skywalker will be."

"Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice."

"Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing."

"When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not."

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. "

" Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship. "

" Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless. "

Why go on fighting

2008-02-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Gerson Luiz tells the story of a rose that longed for the company of the bees, but none would come to her.

Even so, the flower was still capable of dreaming. When she felt all alone, she would imagine a garden filled with bees that came to kiss her. And so she managed to resist until the next day, when she opened her petals again.

“Aren’t you tired?” someone must have asked her.

“No. I have to go on fighting,” answered the flower.

“Why?”

“Because if I don’t open up, I wither.”

Taken from Paolo Coehlo's Warrior of Light

And so...I have to go on fighting, hoping, dreaming...otherwise, all else is meaningless.

On Rhythm and the Road

2008-02-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

We need to forget what we think we are, so that we can really become what we are.

On rhythm and the road

‘There was something you didn’t mention in your talk about the Road to Santiago,’ said a pilgrim as we were leaving the Casa de Galicia, in Madrid, where I had given a lecture only minutes before.

I’m sure there were many things I didn’t mention, since my intention had been merely to share something of my own experience. Nevertheless, I invited her for a cup of coffee, intrigued to know what this important omission was.

And Begoña - for that is her name - said:

‘I’ve noticed that most pilgrims, whether on the Road to Santiago or on any of life’s paths, always try to follow the rhythm set by others.

At the start of my pilgrimage, I tried to keep up with my group, but I got tired. I was demanding too much of my body. I was tense all the time and I ended up straining the tendons in my left foot. I couldn’t walk for two days, and I realised that I would only reach Santiago if I obeyed my own rhythm.

I took longer than the others to get there, and for long stretches I often had to walk alone, but it was only by respecting my own rhythm that I managed to complete the journey. Ever since then, I have applied this to everything I do in life: I follow my own rhythm.’

Secrets of a Happy Marriage

2008-01-31T16:05:00.000-08:00

I came across this nice story from Allegra's site and thought that it would be nice to repost it.

How to Stay Married

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married, "she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

A Prayer..... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
And I don't know how to crochet.
Amen

Still I Rise

2008-01-30T20:10:00.000-08:00

Recently I really struggled when someone very close to me had really offended me. I kept my hurt bottled up for such a long time and did not say anything, and a tsunami of hurt and anger suddenly overwhelmed all happy memories I had with him.

For privacy’s sake, I’ll spare the details. But the circumstances left me very deep wounds. I did respond with my gut and fire off words that oozed a “poor me” attitude. But in the end, I just felt like a total loser in doing so.

The situation affected me so much and sleep wouldn’t come. (I took sleeping pills inspite of the palpitations they give me.) Instead, this relatively small hurt triggered memories of similar offenses. Suddenly, my molehill grew into a mountain.

Tossing and turning, I struggled to balance my legitimate hurt with guilt over what could I have contributed that might have caused the person to offend me. Finally, I asked myself how could I please him without denying my pain. I am always unable to handle confrontation well; my default mode tends toward apologizing—even when the reason for a relational schism isn’t my fault—to restore peace and harmony.

And now I continue to search for answers. In one of my moments alone, I heard a little voice deep inside me. It nudged me to apologize only for the tone of my response, not for the honest act of expressing my hurt. I am reminded that while loved ones might inadvertently injure me, deceive me or even treat me unfairly, they, not I, answer for that behavior. I’m only accountable for my reactions and the hurt I create with my responses.

Life is all about choices. And so, I choose to rise. To rise above the mountain of anger, guilt, self-pity and doubt. Despite this inglorious chapter in my life story…still I rise.

Still I Rise – Yolanda Adams

Shattered, but I'm not broken
Wounded, but time will heal
Heavy the load, the cross I bear
Lonely the road I trod, I dare
Shaken, but here I stand
Weary, Still I press on
Long are the nights, the tears I cry
Dark are the days, no sun in the sky, yes
Chorus:
Yet still I rise
Never to give up
Never to give in against all odds
Yet still I rise
High above the clouds
At times I feel low
Yet still I rise
Sometimes I'm troubled, but not in despair
Struggling, I make my way through
Trials, they come to make me strong
I must endure, I must hold on
Chorus
Above all my problems
Above all my eyes can see
Knowing God is able to strengthen me
To strengthen me
Yet still I rise
Never to give up
Oh, Never to give in against all odds
Yet still I rise
High above the clouds
At times I feel low
Yet still I
I need to know which way to go
Yet still I
At times I feel low
Yet still I
Oh Oh Oh I rise
Yet still I rise
Oh yes I do, yeah yeah

20 Suggestions for Success by H. Jackson Brown

2007-10-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the once you did.

20. TAKE GOOD CARE OF THOSE YOU LOVE!!!

Naalala mo pa ba?

2007-06-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

That's entertainment, walkman, sperry top siders, jingle extra hot, gusto rootbeer, voltez five, betamax at marami pang iba. Mga 70's -80's kids, Naalala nyo pa ba to? (got this from another site and i just want to this)

1. You first saw Herbert Bautista in Kaluskos Musmos and you wondered why Dranreb could not pronounce the letter “R” - lalaki pa siya nuon.

2. Ang major car accessory was the musical backup horn.

3. Dig-man ang pinaka-sikat na halo-halo.

4. Buying Vick’s candy - triangular in shape, regular and kalamansi flavor. Ang mga candy/bubble gum na bilog na iba’t-ibang kulay ay lima singko - yuong puro pula na bubble gum ay yuong cherry balls.

5. Nakakabili ka ng Greenwich pizza na kalahati lang, sabay aliw na aliw ka sa vendo machines dispensing softdrinks in a cup (waxed paper) and not in cans. Kung tumagilid ang baso at natapon ang binubuhos na softdrinks eh pasensiya ka.

6. Nagpalit ng theme song ang John en Marsha to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough.” Nagkaroon na sila ng aircon sa barong-barong na bahay pero front cover lang pala.

7. Baduy na baduy ka sa opening ng TODAS (Television’s Outrageously Delightful All-star Show) on Channel 13 with Val Sotto, Spanky Rigor,and Freida Fonda.

8. Si Bibeth, Mang Tem-I, Miss Tapia, Mary at si Tonette Macho ang kasama ni TVJ sa Iskul Bukol. Kumpleto pa ang ngipin ni Richie D’ Horsie.

9. Nakikipag-debate kung sino ang mas magaling… si Officer John Baker or si Officer Frank Puncherelo sa CHIPS.

10. Inaabangan mo kung anong gagawin ng A-Team para makatakas at makabawi sa kalaban nila - ano ba ‘yan, wala namang namamatay na kalaban kahit na anong pagbaril o pagsabog.

11. Bagong labas lang ang bakya na rubberized (Happy Feet brand) para malambot, hindi na kahoy.

12. Uso ang Espadrille na sapatos, Crayon shoes at Grosby rubbershoes. Bago pa lang labas ang top sider na sapatos - Sperry at Docksiders pa lang ang tatak na U.S., and Haruta Penny Loafers. Wayferer (orig o fake) ang shades mo - feeling Don Johnson, Remington Steel, Tom Cruise (Risky Business) o Madonna.

13. Ang Walkman mo o yuong nakikita mo ay halos kalahati ng laki ng AM radio. Marami kang nakikitang malalaking cassette/radio player - mga galing Saudi. Pinapatugtog mo ay mga tapes na pirata na may lyric sheet pero mali-mali naman ang lyrics.

14. Kapag 25c ang ibigay mo sa nangagaroling na mga bata eh hindi ka kakantahan ng “Thank you, thank you, ang babarat ninyo thank you.”

15. Cloverleaf and usong term at hindi flyover.

16. Singko lang ang 1 fishball. Wala pang squid ball o kikiam.

17. Magaling ka sa Math kasi mayroon kang ballpen na mataba at may built-in multiplication table na iniikot at yuong ballpen na napakaraming option sa kulay ng tinta, karamihan ay hindi makita o natuyo na ang tinta.

18. Texas bubble gum na kahit anong gawin mo ay hindi maaalis sa buhok mo kung mapadikit.

19. Gusto rootbeer, Sunta & Mirinda orange, RC cola, Yes cola and Sarsi with egg with Danny Vanni - masarap na, masustansiya pa.

20. Watching the Caronia nail polish advertisement sa TV with the 4 pa-sexy girls.

21. On Sundays, watching music videos on VH1 or Video Hit Parade (they used to be called “film clips” - wala pang MTV sa Pinas) before noon, then Spin-A-Win at lunch time (Jeanne Young - “Agree or disagree?”), Lovingly Yours (Helen Vela - Channel 7) or Happy Days & Electrawoman and Dyna Girl (Channel 9) in the early afternoon, and then Superstar (Nora Aunor and German Moreno - Channel 9) at dinner time, and capping it all off with Penthouse 7 and Marvelous Golden Movies (MGM).

22. Archie Lacson as dancing guru sa Discorama with Bobby Ledesma and Tito, Vic and Joey. Ngayon si Ralion Alonzo na sa Easy Dancing.

23. Lotlot. Lotlot and Monching. Lotlot and Friends. That’s Entertainment (not!). That’s Entertainment Saturday Edition.

24. Uncle Bob Lucky 7 Club show on Channel 7. Bakit ganon lang ang prizes niya.

25. Bob & Emmy Garon featuring the houses of the Marcoses - “that’s my wife… Emmy”.

26. You had a 2-Peso bill (color blue) in your wallet. Puro ganoon pa ang binibigay ng lolo/lola tuwing Christmas.

27. Ang piso na dirty ice cream ay yuong matamis na apa na ang ginagamit at marami pang scoops, minsan ay may chocolate dip pa. Bring your own baso sa ice skrambol pero hindi pa uso ang powdered milk at chocolate syrup.

28. Ang standard greeting ay “give me five” na nag-evolve into “appear”.

29. Biggest name in ice cream ay Magnolia kaya inaabangan mo ang susunod na Flavor of the Month. Kung gusto mong mas bongga eh di Magnolia Gold Label, yung “Double Dutch” chocolate flavor ang pinakamasarap. Papel lang ang mga balot ng frozen delights - hindi pa foil except yuong vanilla ice cream wafer sandwich nila. May Sundae sila na tinatanggal ang top cover at nilalagay sa ilalim para maging base. Kapag nag-a-attend ka ng B-day party ng bata imbes na regular B-day cake eh Magnolia Ice Cream cake ang mayroon (carousel or yuong puro flowers). Pero masarap din ang sweet corn flavor ng Selecta.

30. Ang Christmas package na inuuwi ng magulang mo ay may kasamang malaking keso de bola at hilaw na chinese ham (buong leg na nakabalot ng craft paper at plastic na net na kulay pula).

31. JD (red and black), MCL (Blue and Yellow), DM (white and blue) bus lines, Love Bus (the only aircon public bus). Pati na rin yuong bus sa Quiapo na walang pinto pero open yuong isang side - dito daw natutong mag-stuntman si Lito Lapid.

32. Pumupunta ka sa music store para tumingin ng LPs, 45, at Jingle magazine o Songhits. Pwede mo lang pakinggan ang plaka kung bibilhin mo na talaga. Hindi pa uso ang e-mail kaya all your dirty jokes came from the “Grin Page” in the back of Jingle magazine.

33. Ang bakla lang sa showbiz ay si Georgie Quizon (utol ni Dolphy) and Sandy Garcia (mestisohin na may bigote, kulot ang buhok, at balbunin).

34. Nagkakabuhol-buhol ang cord ng remote control ng Betamax niyo dahil buong araw ka nanonood. Break mo lang ay para kumain, mag-CR at para lumamig uli ang Betamax unit. Madali pang dumumi ang head kasi hindi pa uso ang rewinder. Kung mayroon na kayo eh one way lang siya - rewinding lang wala pang option na forward.

35. Pinakamabentang poster ay kay Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, Bruce Lee, Scott Baio, Farrah Fawcett, Phoebe Cates, and Bo Derek (kuha sa movie na “10″). Kung sosyal ka, showbiz magazine mo ay Tiger Beat. Kung baduy ka eh Jingle Extra Hot.

36. Pinapanood mo at pinakikinggan ang Menudo with Robbie Rosa as the most sikat of all members. Nakyu-kyutan pa lang kayo kay Ricky Martin kasi siya ang pinakamaliit.

37. Nilalagnat ka at Royco chicken noodle alphabet soup ang kinakain mo - haluan mo pa ang dinurog na Skyflakes.

38. Hearing Bert Tawa Marcelo’s laugh - bawa’t tawa was P50 daw ang talent fee niya.

39. Shutting off your TV and watching that white spot in the middle of the screen slowly disappear.

40. Pagandahan ng metal lunchboxes (various cartoon or movie themes) with matching Aladdin or Thermos brand na termos na madaling mabasagang loob.

41. Sumasakay ka sa jeepney na puro kabayo ang hood, tadtad ng mahahabang antenna, at halos natakpan na ang windshield ng 8-track na tapes.

42. Watching and listening to the We Are The World version of the Phil. National Anthem.

43. Watching movies at Cinerama sa kanto ng Recto and Quezon Blvd. (Isetan na ngayon), Delta and Circle theater sa Timog Ave and Quezon Ave, Rizal Theater sa Makati (Shangri-La Hotel na ngayon), Magallanes Theater - (ginibana).

44. Drinking Mango Brutus nang madalian sabay sakit ang ulo dahil sa sobrang lamig - brain freeze.

45. Buying Cattleya notebooks, Funny Friends scented ballpens, and other school supplies at Alemar’s and Gibson’s bookstores. Ang pad paper nabibilina 1/2 lengthwise, 1/2 crosswise and 1/4 sizes para sa mga quiz.

46. Lahat ng PBA at Holiday on Ice ay ginaganap sa Araneta Coliseum.Hindi pa uso ang “ending”.

7. Lahat ng waiters sa Shakey’s Pizza Parlor ay may suot sa Styrofoam na sumbrero (yellow with red strip of paper with Shakeys printed on it). May mini version pa sila para sa dulo ng antenna ng radyo o TV. Panonoorin mo pa kung paano ginagawa ang pizza sa viewing window nila.

48. Be sure to be home by 12 midnight dahil may curfew kasi Martial Law.

49. Sa Quiapo at Binondo pa pupunta para makabili ng talagang masarap na hopia. Tapos shopping ka na sa Good Earth Emporium at Sta. Cruz (Uniwide nangayon) and be amazed by their candy selection on trays in a conveyor-belt type of machine.

50. Maalikaya when it first opened. When it was first raided and closed. When it was re-opened. When it was re-raided and closed. When it was opened again. When it was raided and closed again. When they opened it again. When they raided and closed it again. When they…

Don't Give Up

2007-02-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

"Don’t Give Up", a very inspiring song by Josh Groban “The Voice”, blew me away the first time I heard it. A wonderful melody and an amazing baritone voice…a perfect combination which is able to deliver an inspiring message of hope...just giving us the lift that we need.

Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When you’re heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for you

Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you lost inside
I…I will be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
You are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved

A Rollercoaster Ride

2007-02-23T09:50:00.000-08:00

The past few days was an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I would get excited over one job offer and then be disappointed with another. One moment, I was juggling multiple offers, the next moment, I'd get anxious, I'd lose it all. I have been waiting far too long for answers...and darn! I was getting impatient. I was afraid of making the wrong choices, afraid of not being happy with the path I'd choose to tread on.

The roller coaster goes dipping, dropping, and looping then in the midst of it all, I am led to an awareness that what’s happening is part of the Lord’s grand plan for me. I will never know what lies ahead. I may not be in control of the future but, I could take steps in directing my emotions. What is important is that I prepared myself as possible to spring ahead and that preparation begins with courage and an introspective journey.

Realization

2006-07-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

I've come to understand something... that we couldn't change one another and there is a reason why people act as such. We have to widen our understanding and be constantly on guard to reacting to it. In doing so, we learn to be at peace with one another and more importantly with ourselves.

confused

2005-04-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

clutter...clutter...clutter...
at home, at work, my brain, my heart...
have to do some housecleaning then....
yet i need to take a rest from work...

when i get home there are dishes to wash, laundry to do, kids to love...
well that's what a mother is...

2005-04-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

just foolin' around!

still

2004-08-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

what am i still doing this late? i should be sleeping..but i just couldnt. hey, i told myself to be early today for work but, im still here staring at the screen. I have to wake up early to prep alyanna to school. she has a quiz on decimals and she still hasnt opened her math notes. i just want to rest but i couldnt...lots of things to do...im a busy person after all.