On bills

Here are the bills again. I always dread them a little. They are familiar presences; first in the mail box, then in the bill drawer, now on the desk. Services rendered. My life depends on services rendered.

I am staring at the bills are piling up on top of my desk desk. Untouched, unopened. I think I'm going to have palpitations. Paying bills is becoming a painful issue, releasing toxic emotions keeping me locked in lack.

I know I need to release myself from feeling that I don't have enough. Help is on its way, I know and I can feel it coming. So now I retrieve memories when I pay bills with ease, recall positive feelings of plenty. I smile. Now, it isn't painful anymore to open an envelope...

Let me not skip into this monthly knowing, Instruct me in judicious spending and in gratitude with no holds barred. -- Gunilla Norris

Share

Children Are Dogs...Teenagers Are Cats

You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat... When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears.

You won't see it again until it gets hungry... then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.

When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.

Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you.

But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.

Share

A Bad Hair Day Inspiration to Alyanna

a beauty tip to my daughter Alyanna, when she was having one of her bad hair days...

Alyanna,

You have just turned 14 and as expected, have now gotten quite conscious about how you look. You like everything about yourself, except...well your hair.

While most of your sisters have fine, straight hair, you are blessed to be different, therefore you stand out. But you believe otherwise. You hate your coarse, thick, wiry, stubborn hair and so I buy you hair shining serums, treatments, conditioners and even a hair iron to at least straighten it temporarily. In time, I may take you to the salon to have a rebond, but then, we know that rebond is makes your hair sleek and straight only for a few days, if you are lucky weeks. It only makes your hair brittle and or rubbery as chemicals alter the natural bonds in your hair.

Well most of us are being brainwashed that if we just get the right shampoo, conditioner and treatment products, our hair will finally behave like that of the women in those tv commercials, black, straight and shiny and therefore makes us acceptable, attractive to other people. Let me tell you this: advertising = brainwashing. Do not believe in everything these advertisers say.

We often think that beauty is what you do to yourself; how straight is you hair, what you wear, makeup, clothes, or expensive jewelry. Again it is so easy to get caught up in "things". Reality is not about what we wear but who we are.

I am lucky to have really nice shiny hair when I was at your age. But after all the pregnancies, work-related stress, household problems, I guess my hair lost its luster. I too have had waged battles with fly-aways, split ends, unruly locks too. I gave up fighting. I wash it, maybe mousse it, let it dry and that's it. Some days it looks okay, other days it looks woebegone. and yet the process is virtually the same. Hair humbles us, and we need to make peace with it.

We have to accept our hair and acknowledge its personality. So whether it's thick or thin, coarse or fine, straight or curly; the way it breaks when permed, is getting gray or insists on parting down the middle. Learning to accept your hair is part of the process of learning to love yourself. The poet Marianne Moore believed that "Your thorns are the best part of you," and she was right.



Love,

Your glam mother


PS So now you know why I chose to stay simple. I dress simply, do not wear too much makeup, wear my hair as it is. For I believe that I am naturally beautiful...Well, aren't we all?

Share

Wonder Twin Powers ...Activate!

Thank God, my kids are starting to help out in the housework. Yanna washed the dishes, Angela sorted out the clothes, Chloe and Andrea helped take out the clutter. Although the analogy is rather crude, I thought of our teawork as a bit like that of the Wonder Twins.

Like most 80's kids, I am an early Saturday morning riser, because of the Saturday Fun Machine aired in Channel 9. One of my favorites is Superfriends. which features the Wonder Twins, Zan and Jayna. These teenage aliens have the power to transform themselves into an animal or water form in order to help save the day. To do this, they had to bump their fists and say the words - you guessed it - Wonder Twin Powers - ACTIVATE!

So ano ang connection sa mga masisipag kong kids? Ano ang connection sa life?

Individually, the Wonder twins were just teenage aliens from Exxor, with a pet monkey called Gleek. They could only use their powers if they worked together! Individually we may be strong, but together we can be very powerful.

Oo, laos na ang Wonder twins, pero di naman nalalaos ang synergy from teamwork e. So Kung gusto nyo ma-activate ang power, magtulungan na lang. Things can get done when we help each other. Much greater things are always bound to happen when two or more agree and work together.

Share

Andito na si Cathy!

I feel so proud looking as I look at today's page in my Belle de Jour organizer. I have crossed out all of my tasks. Yay! I have scrubbed the bathroom floors, mopped the floor clean, prepared meals for my kids, paid the bills, go to the hardware to buy some tools, and the list goes on....

My hands are all sore from today's household this morning, Sakit sa kamay ng detergent. My back hurts, and so does the soles of my feet. I need to go back to work. I don't think I will survive this domestic life.

But in the meantime...pahinga muna...Andito na savior ko, si Cathy...ang bago kong executive assistant. Whew!

Share

Undomestic gets Domestic

Today, Melody, our househelp for 3 years is leaving. She's gotten homesick and yearns to go back to the simple life. I begged, cried and wailed. Alas, my cries of despair fell on deaf ears. What a shame....

This is horrible, for I am the ultimate shirker of cleaning. Believe me, I have tried. If there is a way to avoid the mop or the flat iron, I will find it! Don't get me wrong, my mother trained me in the fine art of cleaning, but I really find domestic chores exhausting and boring. You tidy your house one day and the very next morning, it's time to start all over again. It will never stop. When I was younger, I was always the one sent to go to the market or pay the bills....or...well you get the picture. When I started having my own family, I demanded that I will be the one to take care of the baby (so i that I would get more sleep) and perhaps a little bit of cooking while my family gets someone to do the cleaning (well, you can just imagine the irritation of my in-laws...hehe).

This morning Alan my dear husband asked: "Are you going to do the laundry today? I'm just about out of clean underwear." I hesitated checking out the laundry hamper, too afraid that I would see it turn into a laundry mountain which kept growing and moving like Oscar the Grouch's dream glacier.

But today, everything needs to change. If Mary Poppins could make this fun, why can't I? I woke up early and checked out the things that need to be done--the dishes piling up the sink, the clutter in my closet, and rooting out the dust and grime in every little nook and cranny, and so on. With my domestic guardian angel by my side, I guess I will survive.

At this very moment, I am visualizing the smiles and hugs, as my loved ones walk from room to room. I shall sit back, sip my glass of iced tea and and watch their expressions as they discover what color the curtain really is. The moment that will make it all worthwhile, is when they seem hesitant to use the bathroom, just in case they make a mess.

And so after the housework is finished, I shall treat myself to something decadent. I'll have my nails done, and get that long overdue massage.

Today, the Undomestic Goddess becomes Domestic.

She has become the Domestic Diva.

Share

confused

clutter...clutter...clutter...
at home, at work, my brain, my heart...
have to do some housecleaning then....
yet i need to take a rest from work...

when i get home there are dishes to wash, laundry to do, kids to love...
well that's what a mother is...

Share