Friday, February 14, 2014

Priceless Pearls

You might find it strange, but my most memorable Valentine's Day is the saddest one. Many VDays had flown by and I still vividly remember how anger, sadness, hurt streamed down my cheeks and wet my pillow. I can still remember the searing pain of my broken heart. Only now, I can stare at it in the eye, laugh at it and embrace it. Pain has become a friend. It has made me the woman that I am now---better, stronger and not to mention, more beautiful. 

Just as a a pearl is born out of suffering, we too can become beautiful in the face of adversity, heartache and suffering. Tormented by a grain of sand against its soft flesh, the oyster has to find a way to endure the pain. It responds by embracing the sand and transforming it into an object of great beauty. Over time, the unwelcome pain and suffering becomes a precious gem. 

God doesn't waste a hurt. He will turn every pain and bitterness and use it to mold us to become priceless and beautiful.

If you feel heartbroken this Valentine's Day, and/or any other day don't despair. If you don't give up, God will develop a priceless pearl in you too! 


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Birthday Prayer

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.
Bless all the people who remembered me today and have been with me through this wonderful journey.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for you,
for times of joy when the sun was shining,
for times of sadness which drove me to you.

Forgive me
for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year.
Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,
and through it to bring good credit to myself,
happiness and pride to my loved ones,
and joy to you. Amen.


Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Morning Prayer by Rhonda Jones

Lord, when I open my eyes this morning, my first thoughts are upon you and you alone.

Before my mind begins to wander and I become preoccupied with my responsibilituies for the day, I commit my mind and thoughts unto you

On my bed I lay silently as I meditate on your goodness and glory.

I listen with an open heart and receive your divine wisdom and direction.

I cast down every negative thought and fiery dart of the enemy that will lead me in the wrong direction.

I claim your peace that pass all understand. I have the mind of Christ.

Lord, I commit my body unto to you this morning as a living sacrifice, wholly and acceptable, and ready for service

I am ready and willing to give a helping hand, a word of encouragement, and carry out any task unto you.

I am your servant and a reflection of your love.

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. It is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I commit my body unto to you today and will honor it by giving it the nourishment and exercise that it needs to stay healthy and whole

By faith, I possess the power of the holy spirit to help me avoid temptation and walk in victory.

Today is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I will give full attention to this day only. I will love with all my heart., Listen will all ears.

And see with great intensity taking notice of every kind gesture, every hurting heart, every laughable moment and the beauty of all you created.

I will perform every task even the smallest and routine endeavors with focus and purpose.

I release the memories of the past and leave the future in God’s hands.

I will live today with the zest, love, joy and and enthusiasm life offers.

I have so much to be thankful for

I release the need to worry be anxious or depressed today.

God is in control of all my circumstances and working all things out for my highest good even if I can’t see it right now

I commit myself unto the Lord I commit any emotional hurt, physical pain and distress.

And by faith claim my wholeness and healing now.

I walk by an unmoveable and unshakable faith.

A faith that moves obstacles out of my way and gives me the strength to endure them.

I am successful in everything I do for whatrver good thing I touch prospers in time.

I never give up or give in to discouragement.

I command every giant to get out of my way.

My steps are ordered by the Lord and I walk in God’s divine plan and purpose for my life.

Right now today at this very moment I am whole in complete in Christ. All my needs are met.

I feel light and carefree and full of love in God’s power.

I open my eyes into to a new day filled with God’s wonder, miracle and adventure.

And I take Jesus wherever I go.


Saturday, January 15, 2011

In memoriam: My mother's first anniversary

Shortly last year, after my mom passed away, my life really spun out of control & eventually went in directions I never thought it would go. Throughout all of the changes my life has undergone since my last entry, one thing has remained constant--that my mother is gone; that I miss her very much.

I am the only person to lose this mother (except for my brother and sister). Even we siblings cannot understand each other’s loss completely, since our relationships with Mommy were unique and had nuances that are extremely personal and, in many ways, intensely private. There are those moments shared just between mother and child, when no one else is a witness, and those become a slide show of memories that are precious yet heartbreaking.

.I can recall many times spent with Mom that made me realize not only how much she loved me, but how that love was magnified by things I said and did. When my eldest daughter, Andrea was born, I saw something in the sparkle of Mom's eyes that was both familiar and different, a sort of maternal pride that coalesced as she held the baby, reminiscent of her own motherhood and yet celebrating my own. It goes beyond saying that this affirmation of our own mother-daughter bond was multiplied infinitesimally by this new dynamic. Just when I thought my mother could not love me any more, I found that she could through my children.

I feel that there is no time frame for grieving. It' s been a year since I lost my mother and this her passing away still affects me. But I just keep on living and forgetting that our own time is limited too. I still grieve in my own way... I like to think that the moments I especially need my parent is when she is looking down to see how I am.


Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Chloe turns 14

A special little lady in my life turns 14 years old today.

I want to tell her lots of things. How proud I am of her. How special she is. How she has blossomed into a beautiful and elegant young woman.

I want to explain to her that it's tough being 14. That other people can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's OK to make mistakes. That we learn from mistakes. That mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her about how hard it's been being a working mom, but because it's been worth every single second, I won't.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how I love her.

And, as a very special birthday present today, I'm going to read "Goodnight Moon" to my baby tonight.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Stumbling Upon A Prayer

In a tangible example of "life must go on," I tried to drag myself out of bed and remind myself that I had chores to do. Yep, this morning was just another of those usual lazy, boring days. I just couldn't get out of bed and quite automatically, I pointed the remote on the TV to watch my morning favorite, The Ellen DeGeneres show.

But something pulled my eyes to the bookshelf beside the tv. Made of dark-colored wood and missing one leg, the bookshelf had housed my mom's old literature titles, three sets of encyclopedia, and now, it's a hodgepodge collection of contemporary literature, inspirational titles and business books. I found myself scanning every title, and my eyes surprisingly stopped to study one book, as if I haven't seen it before. It had become one of those "shelf-help" books, gathering dust, dirt and mites over quite a couple of years now since I bought it. "Powerful Prayers" by Larry King...the white letters against the black spine were glaring at me. I hesitatingly picked it up (thinking a day without TV wouldn't hurt anyhow) leafed through its already browning pages, and very surprisingly I just couldnt put it down.

In the book, the famed talk-show host Larry King, decides to embark on an odyssey with Rabbi Irwin Katsof. An agnostic himself, Larry King gets a myriad of answers by interviewing celebrities, world leaders and religious people.

It's amazing how different people feel about prayer. Some say it's a conversation with God, or with your inner self. For some, it's a duty, for some it could be a waste of time, and for some it's repetitive words work, for some merely listening provides answers. Interestingly, in one way or another, everybody prays. And inspite of all the differences, through prayer, we acknowledge our powerlessness, our vulnerability.

It's really comforting to know, that as we bow down our heads in prayer, we are joined by Margaret Thatcher, The Dalai Lama, Muhammad Ali, Rene Russo, Goldie Hawn. Big names, but just a few of the billions of hushed voices, thoughts resonating. Yes indeed, however different our language is or our prayers are..we are one.. as we humble ourselves before a higher spirit.

We are living in a world profoundly shaped by the mass media, and new technologies. We become what society dictates us to be. Prayer tells us : who we are inside, all we need to do is listen.

Oh yes indeed, "life will go on". We may trip or stumble along the way. A prayer in our pocket would make a difference.


Friday, September 17, 2010

If I Had My Child to Raise Again

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later..

I would finger paint more and point the finger less.

❤ I would do less correcting and more connecting.

❤ I would take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.

❤ I would care to know less and and know to care more.

❤ I would take more hikes and fly more kites.

❤ I would stop playing serious and seriously play.

❤ I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

❤ I would do more hugging and less tugging.

❤ I would be firm less often and affirm more often.

❤ I would build self-esteem first and the house later.

❤ I would teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love.

~ written by Dianne Loomans

I often get caught in life's fast pace, and I tend to forget to give my children words of encouragement or praise, tell them how much I love them, and sometimes it would only just take 15 seconds. :(


Monday, September 06, 2010

Breaking free

Over time, I have gathered a set of limiting habits around me—ones that trap me in a zone of supposed comfort, well below what my potential would allow me to attain. these habits have slipped below the level of my consciousness, and they determined what I think that I can and cannot do—and what I cannot even bring myself to try. I let this belief rule me, and so I got stuck in a rut.

I had to break free from this bubble. And so the first step to break away from this mediocrity is to leave this comfort zone. I am leaving with a heavy heart as I have gained true friends. On the other hand, I am glad I am leaving the work which brings me little satisfaction. I cannot stand people bashing others just for the sake of being "bida". I cannot stand people who cannot accept responsibility so as to avoid being blamed. I cannot stand hypocrites! I am leaving because I cannot take being mediocre. I will be leaving and face new challenging and exciting journeys. And up to this minute, I still couldn't contain my excitement. I am faced with greater hurdles, bigger problems that I have to solve, yet I believe I am ready to face these head on. I know my strength and power. No one has the right to question if I am ready for it. As long as I believe in myself, no one can put me down.

"There is danger in the comfort zone", I recall a friend telling me. Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, beliefs and habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around our mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside we may think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if we are to develop in any direction from where we are today, we must go outside that reef of habits and beliefs that mark the boundaries of our comfort zone. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits and beliefs as such. These beliefs probably worked for us in the past. But now it’s time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Our fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep us inside.

As nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life, despite all the helpful advice from our parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong. Yes, we may stumble and hurt ourselves at times, but messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if we get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few “tried and true” behaviors, we'll miss out on most opportunities as well.

It’s time to pin down the self-limiting beliefs and habits that have become unconscious and are running our lives for us. Accept the truth about the world and yourself, change whatever is holding you back, and get on with a fresh view on life. Let's get out of our comfort zone and break free. There’s a marvelous world out there.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Baby is now a Lady

My daughter’s life is out of my hands. I shivered as it slowly dawned on me how many challenges she’d face in the life I could not control.

Mothering is a mysterious task. First you create an intimate, all-consuming attachment with your daughter, then you spend the rest of your life learning to let go. At first you take care of your daughter’s every need, but gradually this shifts as she grows up. First you carry her in your arms, soon she’s walking on her own. Abruptly during the teen years it seems as if she doesn’t need you at all any more. I am no longer my daughter’s life source as she pushes for more independence. Painful as it is to go through, that’s the way it’s meant to be. It is my sacred duty to give your daughter roots to support her and wings to fly.

One of the first clues my daughter has started individualization—pulling away from her mother in order to find her own identity—is when she insists on commuting, instead of me driving her to where she wanted to go. At sixteen, she now takes the MRT and rides the jeep to school. I am really proud of her. I even boasted about it to my friends. But, up until that moment, however, I’d never considered how her determination to be her own person could impact me. I hadn’t considered how her thrust toward independence would shatter my security.

Up until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I depended on my daughter—not only because she added meaning and purpose to my life—but because she was fun to be with. Mothers often ask, “What happened to my sweet, little girl?” All that has happened to her is that she's now a lady.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Recession or Depression

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Hellen Keller

"It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job," Harry Truman observed, "and it's a depression when you lose your own." As downturns in the economy disturb more and more households, we begin to question seriously the financial yardstick by which we have been measuring our personal net worth and therefore something happens.

As a lot of my friends know, the recession has personally affected me. It's hard to believe that there's anybody that it hasn't touched. at least indirectly. It is easy to surrender to an emotional depression when a financial one occurs. It's easy to be pessimistic about tomorrow when today seems so bleak.

But I trying my best to put thoughts of lack behind me. I have yet to discover the secrets of the stars, to sail to an uncharted land, to open up a new heaven where my spirits can soar. But first, I'll have to make changes. And lasting change does not happen overnight. Lasting change happens in infinitesimal increments: a day, an hour, a minute, a heartbeat, at a time. I'm taking a deep breath. I'm learning to become an optimist.

Optimism, like the happiness habit, can be learned. Today, I am expecting that something good will happen no matter what occurred yesterday. The past no longer holds me captive. It can only continue to hurt me if I hold on to it. I'm letting it go. A simply abundant world awaits.