After being interviewed by the general manager, and not knowing if I had made an positive impression on him, I felt so worried about my status.
Then a call from my headhunter came in and told me that the interview with the general manager went well and an offer is being arranged by the human resources. I almost jumped for joy. But still, without the offer, I'm still unsure.
I am fighting all this doubting and I find it very difficult. It was quite a coincidence when the priest talked about doubting and worry when I heard mass. Great timing, but I choose to believe that it is God speaking to me.
The priest discussed about "evil foreboding" coined by best-selling author Joyce Meyer. Evil foreboding according to Joyce is negative thinking attracting negative events to happen.
I just realize now that optimistic people are like warriors as they are continuously at war with limiting beliefs. I may find myself weak and tired as I wield my sword to the enemy. Strength is replenished when I go down on my knees and pray.
And now, I realize that I should be more excited than doubtful. A lot of God's promises will come true next week.
Showing posts with label my jobhunting journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my jobhunting journey. Show all posts
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Victim, Villain or Victor?
I learned that at times when life presents us with unpleasant circumstances, we are actually presented with choices...choices whether to be victim, villain or victor.
I arrived at this townhouse-turned-office 15 minutes early, grounded and geared up for the battle. I was led into a semi-lighted lobby with ultra-modern furniture to wait for the interviewer. I took out a I book I have been trying to finish. As I try to immerse myself in reading, I am distracted by employees running up and about. They seem not to notice me as they crack jokes, laugh and/or yell at each other. Then I notice a couple of noisy gays, thin gays, overweight gays, and gays pretending to be guys. I wonder how many gay people does this company have? Should be a lot, as I lost count. I thought this should be a fun company to work for. I have a lot of gay friends who are super dooper funny, they could double as stand-up comic. Never a dull moment with them gays.
m
And so I waited..finished 3 chapters of my book and check the time on my mobile. What the...?! 45 minutes had passed. Then a large figure in a red shirt, headed towards the entrance, put his hands on his hips, extenuating his gay authoritative persona. In his hands were a pack of Marlboro lights and was obviously going out for a smoke. Oh, I wanted have a puff too...but I remembered I just quit..Geez, I'm starting to get annoyed and impatient. After 15 minutes another applicant came in and after a couple of minutes, surprise, surprise, she was called in ahead of me...Hmmm...there is definitely something wrong in this scene...
Finally it was my turn to be interviewed. I entered the room and tadah! Big Red Guy on the other side of what appears to be a dining table (you the glass type table top adorned with plastic fruit basket as centerpiece)...I looked around. I see a sink..., a fridge....hmmm this must be the pantry. Looks very homey...In a large but deep gay voice, he told me "sorry to have kept you waiting..."
"Well, since I waited for more than an hour now, I think it's a good choice to stay and wait. I was thinking that you may have forgotten. I was surprised that the applicant who came in 45 minutes before me was called in first. I am not used to that. But now I see that you didn't forget. That's good enough" I replied, flashing a sarcastic smile.
The interview dragged on. I notice that the interviewer kept on raising an eyebrow and/or gave sarcastic remarks when I answer his questions. When I answered the question on figures, he raised both his eyebrows...Hahaha! . Looks like a scene from a Japanese anime.
I almost lost control. But thank God I remained poised throughout this tough interview. I am so proud of myself for shooting my beauty pageant answers at him spontaneously.
"Thank you for your time. I would completely understand if you don't make me an offer. I wish to work for a company where I PERFECTLY fit in." I told the interviewer when I shook his hands at the end of the interview. Not without a hint of sarcasm of course...
As I headed home, I laughing to myself, I thought "what a disaster!" "i won't let this incident spoil my day!" I know for a fact that life never fails to present me lessons to learn. It is up all up to me how I would accept the situations I am faced with.
And I am so tired of feeling wronged, of becoming the victim, it sucks! I also know that it is easier to react, get angry and unleash the villain inside me. Instead, I chose to keep my calm. I chose to be the victor! I am so glad I did!
I arrived at this townhouse-turned-office 15 minutes early, grounded and geared up for the battle. I was led into a semi-lighted lobby with ultra-modern furniture to wait for the interviewer. I took out a I book I have been trying to finish. As I try to immerse myself in reading, I am distracted by employees running up and about. They seem not to notice me as they crack jokes, laugh and/or yell at each other. Then I notice a couple of noisy gays, thin gays, overweight gays, and gays pretending to be guys. I wonder how many gay people does this company have? Should be a lot, as I lost count. I thought this should be a fun company to work for. I have a lot of gay friends who are super dooper funny, they could double as stand-up comic. Never a dull moment with them gays.
m
And so I waited..finished 3 chapters of my book and check the time on my mobile. What the...?! 45 minutes had passed. Then a large figure in a red shirt, headed towards the entrance, put his hands on his hips, extenuating his gay authoritative persona. In his hands were a pack of Marlboro lights and was obviously going out for a smoke. Oh, I wanted have a puff too...but I remembered I just quit..Geez, I'm starting to get annoyed and impatient. After 15 minutes another applicant came in and after a couple of minutes, surprise, surprise, she was called in ahead of me...Hmmm...there is definitely something wrong in this scene...
Finally it was my turn to be interviewed. I entered the room and tadah! Big Red Guy on the other side of what appears to be a dining table (you the glass type table top adorned with plastic fruit basket as centerpiece)...I looked around. I see a sink..., a fridge....hmmm this must be the pantry. Looks very homey...In a large but deep gay voice, he told me "sorry to have kept you waiting..."
"Well, since I waited for more than an hour now, I think it's a good choice to stay and wait. I was thinking that you may have forgotten. I was surprised that the applicant who came in 45 minutes before me was called in first. I am not used to that. But now I see that you didn't forget. That's good enough" I replied, flashing a sarcastic smile.
The interview dragged on. I notice that the interviewer kept on raising an eyebrow and/or gave sarcastic remarks when I answer his questions. When I answered the question on figures, he raised both his eyebrows...Hahaha! . Looks like a scene from a Japanese anime.
I almost lost control. But thank God I remained poised throughout this tough interview. I am so proud of myself for shooting my beauty pageant answers at him spontaneously.
"Thank you for your time. I would completely understand if you don't make me an offer. I wish to work for a company where I PERFECTLY fit in." I told the interviewer when I shook his hands at the end of the interview. Not without a hint of sarcasm of course...
As I headed home, I laughing to myself, I thought "what a disaster!" "i won't let this incident spoil my day!" I know for a fact that life never fails to present me lessons to learn. It is up all up to me how I would accept the situations I am faced with.
And I am so tired of feeling wronged, of becoming the victim, it sucks! I also know that it is easier to react, get angry and unleash the villain inside me. Instead, I chose to keep my calm. I chose to be the victor! I am so glad I did!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Defense Against the Dark Arts
“Lord Voldemort’s gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust.” - Albus Dumbledore
Can you remember a time when after pulling yourself up out of the muck and more of feeling bad, you have found the joy of doing and feeling good, only to have someone or something bad push you back down into the mud?
Last week, I have been up in spirits. I am very optimistic that all will be well soon. I didn't give self-limiting beliefs and negative thoughts a chance to take over the way I look at life. I blessed everything, everyone. I was so happy. This morning, I was even happier and all giddy when my headhunter texted me telling me that she has something for me and that she super recommended me to this US multinational company. The senior exec called me up in the evening to sched a meeting. Meeing agad? Well, what the heck, eto na to! Suddenly, all my hopes were shattered when Issa told me to do some research because I might have been duped. So took her advice, googled the name of the person who called me, and voila.... I am misled that I have been presented a great job opportunity. Networking pla in disguise of a job opportunity. I don't have any problems with MLMs, it's just that I hate it when people deceive to attract wealth, people, relationships. I hate it when people take advantage of other people's weaknesses, ignorance, misfortunes, vulnerabilities. So ayun, this person had my hopes up, only to make me fall on my face. It hurts, it only made my troubles worse. I hate feeling like this and I really want to get out of this rut.
There is a dark force, an energy, which enters life at the most inconvenient times, in very disruptive ways. Some would call it the devil, others negative energy or bad vibes. If or when this force enters our lives, we call it trouble, problem, challenge, crisis, adversity. Whatever it is, I have to be aware. When the dark force enters my life, it has only one intent: to whip my butt. That's right, the darkness is out to beat me.
Darkness is not afraid of me. Defending myself against darkness with brute force will only get us beaten up pretty badly. I want to swear at my headhunter for having misled me. But then, mapapagod lang ako. My vision will only be shattered even more.
What will I do? This time I'll have to stop proving myself to anyone.
1. I will finds depth and strength in my friends, beyond what I know
2. I will I will humble myself. I will lie down, cover my face....and then raise my voice in prayer, trusting that help is on the way. I will protect myself with prayer and trust.
Today, I am devoted to calling on the Great Defender if I am confronted by forces of darkness!
-Until Today
Can you remember a time when after pulling yourself up out of the muck and more of feeling bad, you have found the joy of doing and feeling good, only to have someone or something bad push you back down into the mud?
Last week, I have been up in spirits. I am very optimistic that all will be well soon. I didn't give self-limiting beliefs and negative thoughts a chance to take over the way I look at life. I blessed everything, everyone. I was so happy. This morning, I was even happier and all giddy when my headhunter texted me telling me that she has something for me and that she super recommended me to this US multinational company. The senior exec called me up in the evening to sched a meeting. Meeing agad? Well, what the heck, eto na to! Suddenly, all my hopes were shattered when Issa told me to do some research because I might have been duped. So took her advice, googled the name of the person who called me, and voila.... I am misled that I have been presented a great job opportunity. Networking pla in disguise of a job opportunity. I don't have any problems with MLMs, it's just that I hate it when people deceive to attract wealth, people, relationships. I hate it when people take advantage of other people's weaknesses, ignorance, misfortunes, vulnerabilities. So ayun, this person had my hopes up, only to make me fall on my face. It hurts, it only made my troubles worse. I hate feeling like this and I really want to get out of this rut.
There is a dark force, an energy, which enters life at the most inconvenient times, in very disruptive ways. Some would call it the devil, others negative energy or bad vibes. If or when this force enters our lives, we call it trouble, problem, challenge, crisis, adversity. Whatever it is, I have to be aware. When the dark force enters my life, it has only one intent: to whip my butt. That's right, the darkness is out to beat me.
Darkness is not afraid of me. Defending myself against darkness with brute force will only get us beaten up pretty badly. I want to swear at my headhunter for having misled me. But then, mapapagod lang ako. My vision will only be shattered even more.
What will I do? This time I'll have to stop proving myself to anyone.
1. I will finds depth and strength in my friends, beyond what I know
2. I will I will humble myself. I will lie down, cover my face....and then raise my voice in prayer, trusting that help is on the way. I will protect myself with prayer and trust.
Today, I am devoted to calling on the Great Defender if I am confronted by forces of darkness!
-Until Today
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Seeing Signs
I used to believe that there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. I arrogantly assumed that because I knew how something worked that God couldn't be involved. I watched the rain and thought, "That's not God, that's just condensation! I just couldn't believe that there was anything more to this than a random cumulonimbus" And the tightness in my chest and tears welling up in my eyes? "That's not my 'soul' yearning for anything, that's just chemical reactions in my brain!" Because, in my mind, there was a natural explanation for everything,
Yesterday, I had a tough panel interview from an office in Makati. As I started heading back home, I had a hard time deciding whether to take the walkway route ( which I used to take) or take the Greenbelt route (which is quite unfamiliar). The walkway route would be a long lonely walk for me. I used to walk this way with friends and the memories would only make me sadder. Well, I need the distractions and anyways and I feel the adventure would help curb my loneliness and so I took the Greenbelt way.
As I was going up the escalator a young man from a non-profit org approached me and tried to strike a conversation. I tried to avoid him, thinking he would just sell me something. He sort of blocked my way and asked "Hey did you participate in the Earth Hour?" he asked flashing his 60 min Id lace. "Yes, I did" I lying through my teeth. (Well I forgot, ok!). And then I thought to myself. well what the heck, I have a lot of time to spare and there's something about this man which I find so pleasant and comforting. While walking towards their booth, I suddenly remembered that other day, I vowed that I would give back to the community by the time God would bless me with the resources. I thought to myself "Masyadong advanced si God gusto na nya magpledge ako kasi paparating na daw ang resources. =)"
The guy gave me info about the their org's mission and programs which I found very interesting. He then asked what I'm doing. I told him I'm in between jobs and I just came from a tough interview. He was curious and asked me where and I told him. "Hey, I used to be in advertising too!" he said flashing his teeth. Then suddenly, we were like old pals who haven't seen each other for a while. He told me not to worry because I would get it soon. He even gave me his number telling me to text him once I got the call. A sign from God? Definitely. I was so weak, and He gave me strength. I was so alone, and He gave me comfort.
I rejoice in the thought that I just met a friend and recognize "HI ELAINE! IT'S ME GOD" written all over his face. The past few days, I have stopped struggling and manipulating the outcome of a circumstance. It is when I come to recognize the existence of signs. I realized that in times of surrender, signs are more obvious to me. Signs are little miracles which are manifested to comfort me and to affirm God's love for me. They give me the opportunity to recognize the blessings that surround me and even the beauty of the chaos around me.
This morning, I logged on my facebook as usual and the first entry I saw made me smile...It was as if the words are smiling back at me...Paolo Coehlo's blog on Signs. =)
Have a great week ahead!
Yesterday, I had a tough panel interview from an office in Makati. As I started heading back home, I had a hard time deciding whether to take the walkway route ( which I used to take) or take the Greenbelt route (which is quite unfamiliar). The walkway route would be a long lonely walk for me. I used to walk this way with friends and the memories would only make me sadder. Well, I need the distractions and anyways and I feel the adventure would help curb my loneliness and so I took the Greenbelt way.
As I was going up the escalator a young man from a non-profit org approached me and tried to strike a conversation. I tried to avoid him, thinking he would just sell me something. He sort of blocked my way and asked "Hey did you participate in the Earth Hour?" he asked flashing his 60 min Id lace. "Yes, I did" I lying through my teeth. (Well I forgot, ok!). And then I thought to myself. well what the heck, I have a lot of time to spare and there's something about this man which I find so pleasant and comforting. While walking towards their booth, I suddenly remembered that other day, I vowed that I would give back to the community by the time God would bless me with the resources. I thought to myself "Masyadong advanced si God gusto na nya magpledge ako kasi paparating na daw ang resources. =)"
The guy gave me info about the their org's mission and programs which I found very interesting. He then asked what I'm doing. I told him I'm in between jobs and I just came from a tough interview. He was curious and asked me where and I told him. "Hey, I used to be in advertising too!" he said flashing his teeth. Then suddenly, we were like old pals who haven't seen each other for a while. He told me not to worry because I would get it soon. He even gave me his number telling me to text him once I got the call. A sign from God? Definitely. I was so weak, and He gave me strength. I was so alone, and He gave me comfort.
I rejoice in the thought that I just met a friend and recognize "HI ELAINE! IT'S ME GOD" written all over his face. The past few days, I have stopped struggling and manipulating the outcome of a circumstance. It is when I come to recognize the existence of signs. I realized that in times of surrender, signs are more obvious to me. Signs are little miracles which are manifested to comfort me and to affirm God's love for me. They give me the opportunity to recognize the blessings that surround me and even the beauty of the chaos around me.
This morning, I logged on my facebook as usual and the first entry I saw made me smile...It was as if the words are smiling back at me...Paolo Coehlo's blog on Signs. =)
Have a great week ahead!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Weary In the Waiting
It’s happening again. I’m growing weary in the waiting. Why? Because it’s taking too long, and while I’m waiting others around me seem to be getting the very things I’ve been waiting for.
I had no idea back in October last year that being too comfy would wreck my world, would put me where I am without a job. Since January, I’ve been churning out resumes hoping that something is just going to plop right into my lap. Almost 3 months after, wala pa rin. Bakit ngayon pa nangyari to…sinabayan ko pa ang global crisis. Now, bills are piling up, and school opening is just around the corner. Ubos na ang savings. I am so worried, so afraid. I cry and whine. Then I cry some more. I am growing tired of waiting…almost ready to give up.
I've been lamenting about my circumstances lately and grumbled far too much, so much so that I'm beginning to loathe myself. Nahihiya na ako sa friends kasi feeling ko emotional vampire na ako. I decide that enough is enough! Someone please give me a hard knock on my head for whining so much.
Why is it so hard to wait? I have been praying and seeking His direction for what the next chapter in my life should be. I don't know what is coming, A still small voice reminds me that:
1. I’m not alone. I have a family and a handful of friends who care unconditionally.
2. God wants me to trust in Him.
3. God has BIG plans for me.
If only I could hold still in His hands, He would make something out of me.
So now, I’m waiting yet another minute, another hour, another day.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I had no idea back in October last year that being too comfy would wreck my world, would put me where I am without a job. Since January, I’ve been churning out resumes hoping that something is just going to plop right into my lap. Almost 3 months after, wala pa rin. Bakit ngayon pa nangyari to…sinabayan ko pa ang global crisis. Now, bills are piling up, and school opening is just around the corner. Ubos na ang savings. I am so worried, so afraid. I cry and whine. Then I cry some more. I am growing tired of waiting…almost ready to give up.
I've been lamenting about my circumstances lately and grumbled far too much, so much so that I'm beginning to loathe myself. Nahihiya na ako sa friends kasi feeling ko emotional vampire na ako. I decide that enough is enough! Someone please give me a hard knock on my head for whining so much.
Why is it so hard to wait? I have been praying and seeking His direction for what the next chapter in my life should be. I don't know what is coming, A still small voice reminds me that:
1. I’m not alone. I have a family and a handful of friends who care unconditionally.
2. God wants me to trust in Him.
3. God has BIG plans for me.
If only I could hold still in His hands, He would make something out of me.
So now, I’m waiting yet another minute, another hour, another day.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Learning to Wait
I wait impatiently, pacing to and fro. I wait for my mobile phone to ring, "Tawag na please!". I wait frustratingly and sometimes to the point of giving up. They say waiting is a good thing. At times we wait arrogantly, patting our feet with our hands on our hips. We may wait in indifference, picking our teeth and shrugging our shoulders. We sometimes wait in anger, huffing, puffing, and pounding our fists on the table. Then there are times we wait helplessly, hopelessly, with our heads bowed and hands in our pockets. Maybe how we wait is just as important as what we are waiting for.
I just learned that waiting does not mean sitting around in fantasy land, anticipating that something good will fall down on me from the sky and hit me on the head. That is not waiting at all, but fooling myself into not taking responsibility for my vision, my dreams and my desires. Waiting is the realization that God knows what is best for me and while waiting, my job is to put my faith in that realization.
Waiting requires joy accompanied by the belief that what I need or request will be provided. Waiting is believing that if it is good for me, if it will bless me and others, then what I ask must happen! Waiting is being enthusiastic and excited about what is yet to come. Waiting is clarity about the how come’s and what for’s of yesterday that have prepared me for the blessings of tomorrow. Yes, indeed waiting is good!
I may have believed that just waiting to be blessed or inspired or guided or discovered, was all I have to do. I may not have been aware of how I was waiting and what I was really expecting.
Now, I devote myself to examining who I am and be willing to make necessary changes. I am devoted to not wait in vain.
I just learned that waiting does not mean sitting around in fantasy land, anticipating that something good will fall down on me from the sky and hit me on the head. That is not waiting at all, but fooling myself into not taking responsibility for my vision, my dreams and my desires. Waiting is the realization that God knows what is best for me and while waiting, my job is to put my faith in that realization.
Waiting requires joy accompanied by the belief that what I need or request will be provided. Waiting is believing that if it is good for me, if it will bless me and others, then what I ask must happen! Waiting is being enthusiastic and excited about what is yet to come. Waiting is clarity about the how come’s and what for’s of yesterday that have prepared me for the blessings of tomorrow. Yes, indeed waiting is good!
I may have believed that just waiting to be blessed or inspired or guided or discovered, was all I have to do. I may not have been aware of how I was waiting and what I was really expecting.
Now, I devote myself to examining who I am and be willing to make necessary changes. I am devoted to not wait in vain.
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